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How to Talk to Girls in 5 Different Settings

You should be well-equipped to talk to girls in any setting, but especially in these 5 settings.

Alex Smith By Alex Smith Reviewed by Esther Evans

Most men like to think that they are confident when approaching women and that they don’t do anything wrong. When they get rejected, they might say, “She wasn’t that pretty anyway.” But we don’t buy that nonsense.

We believe that most men fail miserably when it comes to approaching a girl for the very first time. If you’re at a club, men often smell like booze and come across as way too horny. If you’re at church, they might seem fake and like they’re trying too hard.

So where is the perfect balance that a man is supposed to bring to a woman, at all times? And why do men find it so hard to approach women now? We mostly blame society for the destruction of beauty and love, but we can’t blame them forever.

At some point, we’ve got to stand up and fight back with our grandfather’s morals and pride at stake. In their time, when they courted a lady, they knew what the hell they were doing. TV and magazines hadn’t yet corrupted young minds with an overload of sex and the objectification of women.

Men were taught to treat women with dignity, class, and respect. Nowadays, rap songs make it seem cool to call a woman a “bitch” and then have sex with her the same night.

We’re quite fed up with the hypocrisy and the media, so we’re creating our own self-help guide (for men) on how to talk to and approach women in any scene.

5 Places to Approach and Talk to Women

Tips to approach women
Men approaching women.

How to Talk to Women at a Club.

Although a club might not be the ideal place to meet your future wife, it’s not entirely impossible, and we suggest not completely writing it off if that’s your thing. You never know, you might just meet the girl of your dreams and never have to go to a club again. So, how do you talk to girls at the club?

First, scope out the crowd and find a girl you like, not just for her looks, but also for her moves, style, smile, and even the people she’s with. If it’s too loud and crowded, dance your way over to her and maybe even dance with her for a song or two before making a move to talk to her.

If it’s too loud, move her outside or somewhere quieter so that she can hear you. Introduce yourself, ask her name, and who she’s with.

Please don’t try to find the love of your life if you’re already super plastered or drunk. Chances are you won’t be in the right state of mind to find the right person in the first place.

Approaching women at the club is relatively easy since everyone knows that you’re there to meet someone to dance with or even someone to leave with, and you don’t have to carry on a lot of conversation.

If the conversation is difficult, try dancing with her – a lot. You can either write your number down or put it in her phone, and there you go, you’ve already completed step 1: getting her number.

Now, if you’re able to have a conversation with her, get to know her on a surface level. Ask her about her goals for being there, how long she plans on staying, who she’s with, and other simple, open-ended questions. Let her know that you think she’s cute and that you’d like to talk to her outside of the club one day.

How to Talk to Women at a Bar, Pub, or Restaurant.

Meeting girls at public spaces
Women enjoy going to restaurants.

At a restaurant, pub, or pool hall, it’s much easier to approach a girl and strike up a conversation since it’s not as loud as a club, and playing pool or eating takes some time anyway. Just make sure that neither of you is too drunk.

If you’re at a bar or pub with food, make sure that she’s finished eating before you sit down and start talking. You could even offer to go outside and smoke a cigarette with her after she’s done, if that’s something you both enjoy.

But no matter where you meet her, the setting could be intimidating, so make sure that you’re ready to take the chance before putting yourself on the spot.

If she’s playing pool, wait for the right moment to approach her and break the ice with a sexy grin on your face. You could say something like, “Wow, you’re good. I’d love to play against you in the next game if you don’t mind.”

If you’re at a bar, ask her if she wants another shot and do one with her. Women love it when men buy them drinks, and that’s a gesture of gentlemanliness that will never go out of style.

Even if you’re at a restaurant, ask her if she’d like some dessert, and offer to buy it for her. Do whatever you can to keep her there longer and keep her eyes fixed on you for the remainder of her time.

How to Talk to Women at a Professional Event.

Meeting women at events
Group event to meet new people.

Professional events can be tricky, depending on the crowd, the size of the event, and how loud it might be. However, it couldn’t be any louder or trickier than a club, so go ahead and give it a shot!

Meeting a woman at a professional event, like a NASCAR race or a basketball game, is a great way to find out what she’s into and see if you have compatible interests.

Approaching a woman at a game, race, or other sporting event is usually one of the easiest encounters you’ll come across. Simply go over to her and start talking about the game or race itself.

Ask her who her favorite team or player is and have some light competitive fun with her over her answer.

If you’re at an event that’s quiet or even boring, you can always speak to her with your eyes and lips first, and gesture to her that you want to talk to her outside afterward.

Weddings are also great places to meet someone because you’re both already there, experiencing love at its finest. Ask her how she knows the bride or groom, and playfully ask her about her own marriage. This will make her laugh, and you’ll know right away if she’s single or not.

How to Talk to Women at Church.

Meeting women in church
Church.

Everyone swears that the best place to meet someone is at church. So, let’s hope that you get to meet Mrs. Right at Jehovah’s Baptist this Sunday morning, dressed to impress and there bright and early.

She’ll be impressed that you’re meeting someone at church, too. Approaching a woman here will get you major brownie points with her immediately.

Before or after the church service, let her know that she looks beautiful today in her Sunday best. Or if you’re too shy to say something that bold, talk to her about the church, what you love about it, or the weather and how beautiful it is. The point is to get her to notice you and start talking to her.

After the church service would be an excellent time to talk, but don’t chase her down. If you happen to cross paths, you could say something like, “Wow, that was a really good service. I think I’ll be coming back next week.” This will give her the opportunity to tell you if she’s coming back too.

How to Talk to Women in Random Places.

Approaching women in random places
Approaching women in random places.

Never write off a random and not-so-interesting place as the spot where you might meet your forever love. It can and will happen. In the event that it does, don’t be afraid to approach her.

The best way to do that is to make her laugh, say something relatable, or simply say “hey” to her and smile. She’ll get the point.

At some point, you’ll need to speak to her, so you might as well start now. Ask her how her day is going, and be genuinely interested in her life and what she’s doing that day. Make her feel like you truly care about her, and that you’re not just some guy trying to get in her pants.

Remember how we said to make her laugh? There’s nothing better than a compliment coupled with a giggle. Think of something clever to say that relates to her personally.

For example, maybe you know the girl from childhood, and she has a really crappy dad who treats her like garbage, and you see her riding with him, waiting in the car. You could say something like, “You can get a ride with me, and we can go somewhere you want to go instead of you going back to that.” The protective vibes you’ll be giving off will send her into an electric shock from all the tingles!

Besides just going up to her and striking up a conversation, you could offer to pay for what she’s getting after she orders it (but don’t interrupt her). This will certainly catch her attention, and nine times out of ten, she’ll thank you for it and smile, possibly wanting to know more about you. You could also try going out the door before her and hold it for her, saying hello when she comes out.

Tips When Approaching Women

Tips to approach women
Man confessing feelings.

1. Be Yourself.

Some people think that in order to be lovable, they have to be someone else, but why? The person you’re with loves you because you’re the only you, and if they don’t love you, they can kick rocks and fall on them.

Nope, all you have to do is be yourself, quirks and all! Just be the best version of yourself around others, especially potential dates or lovers.

2. Look Presentable.

While this should be a no-brainer, it’s actually quite easy to forget to brush your teeth or put on deodorant before going out in public. But if you’re single and ready to approach and talk to women, you’ll want to start being prepared at all times.

You’re not perfect, and nobody expects you to be, but sometimes the stench of dirty clothes or bad breath can really kill a good relationship. It’s too soon to throw away opportunities like that.

3. If You’re Nervous, Say It.

If you’re nervous, it’s okay to say you’re nervous and leave it at that. Just take deep breaths and keep the conversation moving. Admitting that you’re nervous might even make you feel a million times better and help you to become less nervous when chatting with her.

On the flip side, trying to pretend you’re not nervous is a recipe for disaster. You could ruin the entire conversation by saying something completely off-the-wall because your brain isn’t keeping up with your mouth. Stop overthinking everything, and let the conversation flow naturally.

4. Get Her Contact Information.

Probably the most important step in this process is getting a way to talk to her again. If you’ve already talked to her about her name, age, where she’s from, and all that good stuff, try to get her social media pages or phone number before you two leave each other for the day.

There’s nothing worse than meeting an awesome girl and not getting her information to talk to her again. And if you do get her information, make sure you reach out to her the very next day. Seriously. Forget those stupid rules of waiting nine days or two weeks. If you wait too long, she’ll find someone else.

Facebook and Instagram are simple places to connect with her. All you have to do is send a message. But you’ll still need to get her attention in a way that nobody else on social media can. Trust me, she probably has tons of guys in her DMs.

Again, use your charm and sense of humor to connect with her on a deeper level, and then continue moving in for the kill with our other top secrets for snagging and shagging women.

About the Author

Alex Smith Image

Alex Smith, a co-founder of Chat Line Numbers, is a California native who pursued his undergraduate studies in Computer Science at the University of Los Angeles. While spending a year studying abroad in Spain, Alex discovered his passion for writing. Upon his return to the United States, he continued his career as a VoIP developer on Chat Line Numbers while also collaborating with the online blog. Alex is an enthusiastic programmer with a talent for writing.