Contrary to popular belief, the way to a woman’s heart and make her interested in you is not to treat her like crap, even though your buddies will swear up and down this is how you make a girl fall in love with you - maybe a girl, but not a woman.
Women are intelligent, hip-to-your-game individuals who require lots of love and affection, coupled with some big strong arms to hold her when she’s sad or scared. Real women don’t want to be treated like fragile glass but we don’t want to be treated like a ragdoll either.
You’re typically safe when you have a balance of the two.
But what if this woman is someone that you’ve never really had the chance to talk to, or have some alone time with? How do you talk to her and let her know that you’re interested in her without coming on too strong?
Furthermore, how in the heck can you make a woman want you just as much as you want her?
We thought you’d never ask.
Ways to Grab Her Attention
First and foremost, it starts with you
I’ve seen it a million times over, especially with some of my male friends, a good guy that would treat a woman right and who falls hard but has a super hard time getting that female attraction to begin with. Why? Because they have no self-confidence.
Self-confidence and self-love are key to finding a woman and getting her interested in you. Haven’t you ever seen those guys who on the outside don’t look so fly to the rest of the world but they have this beautiful girl on their arm? It’s because they have confidence in themselves and that shows.
Confidence is like a glow that you just can’t wash away, it truly makes someone appear larger, stronger, happier, and you got it - sexier.
Have you ever been around someone who is confident with themselves and you can literally watch the way they move around other people and they just seem so smooth? It’s because confidence is shown on the outside just as well as the inside.
Someone who is proud of themselves is truly hard to turn down, at least for a night out anyways. It’s also somewhat mysterious, making her wonder where he got all of his confidence from and if maybe he could teach her some tricks.
Give it time
Just because you’ve worked with her for six months now, you know her name and she knows yours, that doesn’t mean that she has to fall for you or even say yes to you the first time you express interest.
In fact, a lot of women are raised on standards of saying no the first one or two times a guy asks them out, to see if the guy will chase after her, and if he does then she’ll say yes.
Give the lady some time, she’ll love you more for it if you do.
Here’s an example that I know personally worked with my now fiance and me when he first asked me out nearly ten years ago the first time I told him no. I told him how I wasn’t ready for a relationship as I had just gotten out of a terrible one, and the last thing I wanted to do was get my heart broke again.
We stayed friends for a good five to seven months before I started falling hard for him, I don’t know if it was because he cared enough to wait on me to be ready but something in him suddenly turned me on sexually and we’ve been together ever since.
Just giving her time to feel you out after you’ve expressed interest in her will not only help you and the two of you if you get in a relationship, but it could also really show her what type of man you are and that you’re gentlemen enough (and also head over heels enough) for her, and only her.
Show her she’s your favorite girl
While I can’t speak for all women, I am one myself and I’ve befriended plenty of enough women over the years to know that most women want to be the number one girl in your life, some want to be the only girl, but show her she’s numero uno and she’ll be looking at you with a sparkle in her eye.
This does include online encounters too, fellas, sorry to burst your bubble, but there’s no respectable female out there that truly deeply wants to be with a guy who has a friend list that looks like the roster for Playboy Magazine.
Nor does she want to see that all your friends are female. It’s one of the biggest turn-offs for a lot of women.
If you go to the races and take photos with every hot Booth Model you see and plaster them all over Facebook, chances are she’s going to look the other way and over there at Brad who is at home this weekend posting photos of him working on his truck.
Be mindful of the ladies looking at your social pages if you’re trying to score a date and just know that your photos and your friend’s list speak a thousand words. She doesn’t want to be a part of a long line up of ladies in your little black book and she doesn’t want it to feel that way either.
Be mysterious and witty
We’re not saying that you have to be secretly dealing drugs behind your mama's house or that you have to be some secret agent, we’re just saying don’t leave everything out in the open. Instead of being an open book and telling her (or anyone) all the details of every plan you ever have, try being a little nonchalant next time.
For instance, if she asks what you’re doing later on after work you could simply say something like “Well I had this other thing I was going to do when I got off but I’m still waiting to see if that happens” or if she asks where you were at on your vacation you could say “I went a little bit of everywhere, ate lots of different cuisines”.
Saying these witty but mysterious lines will leave her curious about you and want to know more.
She’ll be curious to know what it is you’re really doing later or what you really did on vacation, and if she likes you too she’ll be thinking that you might have found someone else and maybe that’ll be what she needs to kick it into high gear.
Show off your independence
There’s something truly sexy about a man that has his own job, his own car or vehicle, and possibly even his own place, of course, you don’t need these things to get some women (only if you want a golddigger), it merely just shows that you’re independent.
Showing that you are independent gives her the impression that you are a manly man and you can hold your own. It shows that you’re an adult and that you’re capable of taking care of yourself. Be honest, you like it when a woman has her own thing going on too, right?
It’s ok if you’re just going through a rough spot right now and living back at home with your parents, that’s totally different than a man who never wants to leave his parents home.
Women have the need to feel protected and taken care of, and maybe not at the very beginning of the relationship, but at some point, she will.
Have goals, dreams, aspirations
One of the sexiest things ever about any human being is if they have goals and dreams that they want to work toward, and they’re actually doing something about it. Even if they’re a producer wanna-be making beats in their extra bedroom’s closet, that’s working towards their dream of being a producer.
Sharing your goals with others and showing off your skills will prove to her that you are somebody, with or without her. This alone could spark her curiosity, making her start to want you, and without anyone ever trying.
She may even challenge herself subconsciously, to try and be that girl on your arm when you’re out next time DJ’ing a party.
Be a man, and be sexy at it
She’s a woman, chances are she likes men that act like men. Of course, we don’t mean to fart in her face and pull her hair, but don’t be whiney or too sensitive about things. This goes for online relationships and chatting too, be mindful of the way you act online and of course, in person too.
A man that is negative all of the time talks down on himself, or is just always ‘in a mood’ is so unattractive.
We always say that if we wanted to date someone moody we would be a lesbian and date other women, don’t be too much of a girl when it comes to life - let the women have the vaginas.
Instead, hold her when she’s sad and crying, letting her know that you’ve got her and you’ll help her take care of things. When she’s scared, jump in front of her and dare someone to touch her as they’d have to go through you first. When she looks at you with her cute little smile, lick your lips at her as you slightly smile back.
Be a man, it’s sexy for the woman you’re trying to catch, I promise.
Don’t be so available
We know it seems like the opposite thing to do if you are really trying to catch someone’s interest, but trust me - you don’t want to be ‘too available’ for her. Again, this goes with being mysterious, she can’t have all of you all at the beginning, there will be nothing left for her to want.
Instead, if you’ve already had two or three dates, maybe the next time she asks you to do something tell her you have some plans with your buddies but you will for sure plan another time soon after. You don’t want to blow her off and seem like a dickhead about things, just play it cool and sweet.
Try being her friend first, but with compliments
If you’ve already expressed your interest in her and she’s shot you down for whatever reason, don’t write yourself off yet. Remember what I said about my nearly now ten-year relationship, it started off with me saying ‘no’ a couple of times.
So whether she knows or not, it’s time to start being her friend but not the kind she kicks it with at the mall or gossips with after work, you need to be that guy friend that she knows has a crush on her but is still trying to be her friend.
Of course, don’t come on too strong and try to get her to change her mind but just play it cool and natural, let things flow as they are. If she has a bad day and consults you let her know that she’s too damn awesome to be feeling down. If she ever questions herself around you, let her know she has no need to question herself cause she’s gorgeous.
Never throw yourself on her or overdo the compliments as that can get quite unattractive as well. There’s always a balance in everything you do when it comes to women, finding the balance between too much and not enough will allow you to win every single time.
Find something you have in common and bond over it
If you can find something that both of you love and create a bond over that, you’ve already found a way into her heart. That’s the first step. So, let’s say the two of you love James Bonds movies, maybe you could make a night out of eating popcorn on your couch and watching her favorite one...or two?
Maybe you both love concerts, take her to see her favorite band if she promises to go with you to your favorite. Bonding over something you love creates something like a spiritual bridge between the two of you that you can’t even see, but you’ll be able to feel it and that’s what matters anyways.
Here’s the secret that all good guys don’t understand…
You can be a bad good guy without being a cheater, woman beater, or inmate. I think what women really mean when they say they like bad guys is they like tough, rough around the edges, bend you over the couch and pull your hair type of bad, not a nasty cheater.
You can be a great guy that treats a woman just fine, but still be a bad guy as far as being strong and manly, sometimes rough and standoff-ish. Someone who is a freak in the bedroom and does everything just right, but outside in public acts like a saint.
Face it, men, we want exactly you want in women. Classy but sexy at the same time.