Contrary to popular belief, treating a woman poorly is not the way to her heart or to make her interested in you. While your friends may swear by this method as a way to make a girl fall in love with you, it may work with a girl, but not with a woman.
Women are intelligent individuals who are aware of your intentions. They require love and affection along with someone strong to hold them when they’re feeling down or scared. Real women do not want to be treated as if they’re fragile, but neither do they want to be treated like a ragdoll. Striking a balance between the two is usually the safest approach.
But what if you haven’t had the opportunity to speak with this woman privately? How can you express your interest in her without being too forward?
Moreover, how can you make a woman desire you as much as you desire her?
1. Work on Your Appearance.
I’ve seen it countless times, especially with some of my male friends – a good guy who would treat a woman well and falls hard, but has a hard time getting that initial attraction from females. Why? It’s often because they lack self-confidence.
Self-confidence and self-love are crucial to attracting women and getting them interested in you. You’ve probably seen those guys who, to the rest of the world, may not seem like the most attractive men, but they have a beautiful woman on their arm. It’s because they exude confidence in themselves, and that shows.
Confidence is like a glow that you can’t wash away; it makes someone appear larger, stronger, happier, and, well, sexier.
Have you ever been around someone who is confident with themselves? You can watch the way they move around others, and they just seem so smooth. Confidence is visible on the outside as well as the inside.
Someone who is proud of themselves is truly hard to resist, at least for a night out. It’s also somewhat mysterious, making her wonder where he got all of his confidence from and if perhaps he could teach her some tricks.
2. Be Patient If She Rejects You.
Just because you’ve been working with her for six months and know each other’s names doesn’t mean she has to fall for you or even say yes the first time you express interest.
In fact, many women are taught to say no the first one or two times a guy asks them out to see if the guy will chase after her. If he does, then she may say yes.
Give the lady some time. She may appreciate it more if you do.
Here’s an example that personally worked for my fiance and me. When he first asked me out nearly ten years ago, I told him no. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship, and I wasn’t ready for another one.
We stayed friends for five to seven months before I started falling hard for him. I don’t know if it was because he was patient and waited for me, but something in him suddenly turned me on, and we’ve been together ever since.
Giving her time to feel you out after expressing interest can not only help you and the relationship if it happens, but it can also show her the kind of man you are. You’re a gentleman who is head over heels for her and her alone.
3. Show Her That You Care About Her.
Although I can’t speak for all women, being one myself and having befriended many women over the years, I know that most women want to be the number one girl in your life. Some women may even want to be the only girl, but if you show her that she’s your top priority, she’ll look at you with a sparkle in her eye.
This also applies to online encounters, fellas. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no respectable woman out there truly wants to be with a guy who has a friend list that looks like the roster for Playboy Magazine. She also doesn’t want to see that all of your friends are female. That’s one of the biggest turn-offs for a lot of women.
If you go to races and take photos with every hot booth model you see and plaster them all over Facebook, chances are she’ll look the other way and focus her attention on Brad, who’s at home this weekend posting photos of him working on his truck.
Be mindful of the ladies looking at your social media pages if you’re trying to score a date. Know that your photos and friend’s list can speak volumes. She doesn’t want to feel like a part of a long line up of ladies in your little black book, and she doesn’t want it to feel that way either.
4. Hold Back on Sharing Everything at Once
We’re not suggesting that you have to be secretly dealing drugs behind your mom’s house or be a secret agent. We’re just saying that you shouldn’t leave everything out in the open. Instead of being an open book and telling her (or anyone) all the details of every plan you have, try being a little nonchalant next time.
For instance, if she asks what you’re doing after work, you could simply say something like, “Well, I had this other thing I was planning to do when I got off, but I’m still waiting to see if that happens.” Or, if she asks where you went on vacation, you could say, “I went a little bit of everywhere and ate lots of different cuisines.”
Saying these witty but mysterious lines will pique her curiosity about you and make her want to know more. She’ll be intrigued to find out what you’re really doing later or what you really did on vacation. If she likes you too, she may even start thinking that you’ve found someone else, and that might be just what she needs to kick things into high gear.
5. Be Independent.
There’s something undeniably attractive about a man who has his own job, his own car or vehicle, and maybe even his own place. Of course, you don’t need these things to attract women (unless you want a gold digger), but they do show that you’re independent.
Being independent gives her the impression that you’re a self-sufficient man who can hold his own. It shows that you’re an adult who is capable of taking care of himself. Let’s be honest, you like it when a woman has her own thing going on too, right?
If you’re going through a rough patch and living back at home with your parents, that’s totally understandable. It’s different from a man who never wants to leave his parents’ home.
Women have a natural desire to feel protected and taken care of. It may not be at the very beginning of the relationship, but at some point, she will want to feel that way.
6. Have Goals, Dreams, and Aspirations.
One of the sexiest things about any human being is when they have goals and dreams they’re working towards. Even if they’re a wanna-be producer making beats in their bedroom closet, the fact that they’re pursuing their dream is attractive.
Sharing your goals with others and showcasing your skills will prove to her that you’re somebody, with or without her. This alone could pique her curiosity and make her start to want you, without anyone even trying.
She may even challenge herself subconsciously to be the girl on your arm the next time you’re out DJing a party.
7. Be a Confident Man.
As a woman, chances are she likes men who act like men. Of course, we’re not suggesting you fart in her face and pull her hair, but don’t be too whiny or sensitive about things. This applies to online interactions and in-person encounters. Be mindful of your behavior online and offline.
A man who is negative all the time, talks down on himself, or is always in a bad mood is unattractive. We often say that if we wanted to date someone moody, we would be a lesbian and date other women. So, don’t be too much of a girl when it comes to life.
Instead, hold her when she’s sad and crying, and let her know that you’ve got her and you’ll help take care of things. When she’s scared, jump in front of her and dare someone to touch her, as they’d have to go through you first. When she looks at you with her cute little smile, lick your lips and smile back slightly.
Being a man is sexy for the woman you’re trying to attract, I promise.
8. Avoid Being Overly Available.
I know it seems counterintuitive when you’re trying to catch someone’s interest, but trust me, you don’t want to be ‘too available’ for her. This ties into being mysterious – if she has all of you at the beginning, there will be nothing left for her to want.
If you’ve already been on two or three dates, try telling her that you have plans with your buddies the next time she asks you to do something, but make it clear that you’ll plan another time to hang out soon. You don’t want to blow her off or come off as a jerk. Instead, play it cool and sweet.
9. Start Off as Friends.
If you’ve already expressed your interest in her and she’s rejected you for whatever reason, don’t give up just yet. Remember what I said about my nearly 10-year relationship – it started with me saying ‘no’ a couple of times.
Now, it’s time to be her friend. Not the kind of friend she hangs out with at the mall or gossips with after work. You need to be the guy friend who has a crush on her but is still trying to be her friend.
Don’t come on too strong or try to change her mind, just play it cool and be natural. Let things flow naturally. If she has a bad day and talks to you about it, let her know that she’s too awesome to be feeling down. If she ever questions herself around you, remind her that she’s gorgeous.
Don’t throw yourself at her or overdo the compliments – that can be unattractive. There’s a balance to everything you do when it comes to women. Finding the right balance between too much and not enough will help you win her over.
10. Find a Shared Interest.
If you can find something that you both love and bond over it, you’ve already taken the first step towards winning her heart. For example, if you both love James Bond movies, suggest making a night out of it and watch her favorite one (or two) while eating popcorn on the couch.
If you both love concerts, take her to see her favorite band with the promise that she’ll go with you to see your favorite. Bonding over something you both love creates a spiritual connection between the two of you that you may not be able to see, but you’ll certainly be able to feel it – and that’s what really matters.
Here’s the last secret most men don’t understand.
You can be a “bad good guy” without being a cheater, woman beater, or inmate. When women say they like bad guys, what they really mean is they like men who are tough, rough around the edges, and maybe even a bit dominant in the bedroom – not necessarily someone who cheats.
You can be a great guy who treats a woman well and still have that “bad guy” edge – someone who is strong and manly, sometimes rough and standoffish. Someone who knows how to please a woman in the bedroom but acts like a gentleman in public.
Let’s face it, men – we want the same thing in women. We want someone who is classy but also sexy at the same time.