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13 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in a Relationship

Don't let things get boring! Keep the spark alive in your relationship with these 13 ideas.

Thessa Phillips By Thessa Phillips Reviewed by Thessa Phillips

Maintaining a relationship can be challenging, especially after being together for a significant amount of time. It’s common to lose the initial spark that once kept the relationship exciting. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that love has faded away. Rather, it’s possible that you and your partner have become too comfortable in your routine and the relationship.

Fortunately, if both partners are committed to making it work, there is hope. The first step is acknowledging that things have changed and then working together to find ways to combat the monotony that has set in.

We have compiled a list of 13 ways to reignite the spark in your relationship, and we’re confident that trying any or all of these will bring back that passion once again.

1. Sometimes Love Is Not Enough.

Relationship obligations
A healthy relationship consists of many attributes, not just love

We all want to believe that true love will always find a way, but unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Even if you love someone deeply, you may still feel like breaking up with them because a healthy relationship involves more than just love.

A healthy relationship requires mutual understanding, active listening, commitment, respect for boundaries, support through tough times, and much more. These are like bricks in a home – each one has a specific place and function, and removing one could cause the whole structure to fall apart.

So how can you use your love and understanding to improve your relationship and have what you had at the beginning? Start by mentally revisiting the beginning of your relationship. Remind yourself of all the things you loved about your partner from the start.

Talk with your partner about your first meeting, the first time you hung out, and your first kiss. By reminiscing about your early experiences together, you might be able to rekindle that spark. Perhaps, you could even recreate some of those special moments over a candlelit dinner and put yourselves in that same mindset, feeling the same excitement and butterflies as you did in the beginning.

2. Give Each Other Compliments.

Compliment your partner
Telling her that “she’s the most beautiful girl in the world” will make her day, and yours.

Without going overboard or sounding fake, there is nothing that boosts a woman’s ego more than a genuine compliment or two from her partner. It’s not just any old compliment that does the trick, but something truthful and straight from the heart, perhaps something you haven’t shared with her before or in a really long time.

Giving someone a compliment can release endorphins and dopamine in the brain, which can then stimulate other parts of the body and mind. This means that simply telling your partner how beautiful she is and how lucky you are to have her could put her in the mood for intimacy – if you catch my drift.

Women, as we know, are emotional beings who may sometimes have needs that require attention. They often appreciate being held in high regard. Telling your partner that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world can make her feel special, even if she doesn’t fully believe it.

Additionally, making her feel this way may reignite her feelings of love for you.

3. Do Fun, Romantic, and Productive Activities Together.

Share things together
Make time for fun and spontaneity in your relationship.

Simply spending time together is not enough to rekindle a relationship. Spending every waking moment with your partner can actually harm the relationship because it doesn’t allow for any time apart.

However, when you do spend time together, it’s important to focus on activities that strengthen your connection. If you’re always sitting on the couch, not communicating, never going out, and just watching TV, this could strain or even end your relationship.

On the other hand, planning date nights, doing something spontaneous, or even taking a trip together can be the key to your partner’s heart. Spending time engaged in romantic, fun, and even productive activities naturally brings couples closer and leads to a happier, more loving relationship.

4. Do Something Out of the Ordinary Together.

Do something extraordinary together
Couples who travel together tend to stay together longer than those who don’t.

One of the best ways to keep your relationship fresh and exciting is to do spontaneous things that are out of the ordinary. Spending time together in a brand new environment, at the spur of the moment, can release endorphins and make your mind and body feel even more in love.

These spontaneous moments with your loved one create unique memories that you’ll never be able to recreate, making them some of the most important experiences in your relationship.

5. Make Each Other Laugh as Much as Possible.

Don't forget to laugh
Make her laugh as much as you can.

Laughter is often called the best medicine, and it’s no secret that couples who can laugh together tend to have longer-lasting relationships. Share silly jokes or make harmless and playful jokes with each other.

Women tend to love men who can make them laugh, and the fact that you can still make her laugh after spending so much time together is even better.

Laughing relieves tension and stress, which can help to relax your muscles. This means that having intimacy after a good laugh can be a great idea!

6. Do Something for Her That She Wouldn’t Expect.

Do something she's not expecting.
Do something she doesn’t not expect.

There’s a reason why women often fall in love all over again when their boyfriend becomes a fiancé. It’s that feeling of “wow, I can’t believe he did that and thought of that all on his own,” combined with the life-changing decision of getting engaged.

We’re not suggesting that you propose (unless it’s the right time), but doing something unexpected for your partner could spark the relationship’s flame you felt when you first took her hand or said “I love you.”

New beginnings and the feeling of amazement can reignite love, possibly even stronger than before.

7. Take a Break From Social Media.

Focus on your partner not social media.
Turn off your phone for some time to spark your relationship again.

Depending on how you both feel about it, you could set aside a day each week or a week each month to go without social media, texting, or chatting with friends and acquaintances on the phone. Of course, you should still use your phone for important matters like family, kids, or emergencies.

By putting down your phones and disconnecting from Facebook and Instagram, you can focus all of your attention on each other. This is a great opportunity to learn new things about each other and share stories that you haven’t yet told.

8. Give Each Other Space to Miss Each Other.

Spend time with your partner
Spend at least one hour per day apart if you can, give yourselves time to miss each other

It may seem counterintuitive to spend time apart when your relationship seems to lack passion, but the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is often true.

Even if it’s just for a few hours a day while you’re both at work, spending time apart is essential for a long-term relationship. In fact, being together all the time can sometimes do more harm than good.

It’s not healthy for two people to be together 24/7, no matter how much they love each other. Too much of anything can be detrimental. Try spending a few hours apart each week if you can.

9. Do Something You Used to Do When You First Met.

Visit old memories with your partner
Do something you used to do with your partner.

Remember when you first met and how everything felt new and exciting? Even a trip to the gas station together made you feel on top of the world. Try to recreate that feeling by revisiting places that were special to you when you were first dating.

Going back to the park where you had your first kiss or playing pool at the local bar where you used to let her pretend to beat you can reignite the spark you felt at the beginning of your relationship.

Just being in that familiar atmosphere and reminiscing together can transport your mind and heart back to that special moment and remind you of all the little things that attracted you to each other in the first place.

10. Dress Like You Used To.

Dress to impress your partner
Dress up and fix yourself up as if it were your first date all over again.

In the beginning of your relationship, you used to go all out with your style – wearing a nice outfit, having your hair well done, keeping your nails clean and trimmed, and making sure your shoes were shined. But now, your partner is lucky to see you outside of your “dad pants.” It’s time to spend a day impressing her all over again.

Encourage her to play along and dress up in an outfit that you wore on your first date or the day you met – the look that first attracted her to you.

Seeing you dressed up again will remind her of that very day she looked at you and melted at first glance.

11. Be Silly.

Be silly and play with your partner
Those who live childlike live longer than those who live like they are dying

Studies show that doing something “silly” and “childish” once or several times per week can improve your mood, decrease your stress levels, help with health issues, and possibly even prolong your life.

So, what can you do together that’s considered silly and childish without getting in trouble? It’s simple. Play mini-golf, ride bumper cars at the fair and lightly chase each other around, ride bicycles up and down the aisles of Walmart, go on an ice cream date, and so much more.

Doing something fun that young couples in the early stages of love would do can release chemicals in your brain that make you happier, healthier, and more in love.

12. Be More Touchy.

Get intimate again.
Get intimate again.

Chances are, that if you’ve been together for ten years, you might not be holding hands or hugging as much as you used to. It’s important to respect others and not be too overt with your public displays of affection, but a light kiss, hand holding, or hugging as you wait in line can be super cute – even to jealous bystanders.

Also, try to focus on more touching and less on intimacy. Just because you touch in bed doesn’t mean it has to lead to anything sexual. Sometimes it’s nice to just cuddle and show your partner that you love them without needing to do anything else.

13. Have Heart-to-Heart Conversations.

Have memorable conversations with your partner.
Have memorable conversations with your partner.

Sitting down with your partner and having heart-to-heart conversations is one of the most important things you can do for your relationship. Think about it – you probably remember every heartfelt conversation you’ve ever had with friends and loved ones over the years.

The conversations you have with your partner will stay in both of your hearts for many years to come. Make sure to talk about something that they can relate to, so the conversation isn’t one-sided.

It doesn’t have to be about love or relationships all the time – you can have a serious talk about anything. However, every now and then, it’s important to have a heart-to-heart about your love and how your partner makes you feel. Let her know that she’s your saving grace, an angel, and someone who has shown you things that no other relationship ever has.

Making her feel like the most important lady in your life, especially the only lady in your life, will warm her heart and make her feel like a goddess. And we all know what happens when women feel secure, loved, and sexy all at the same time!

After the relationship spark is re-ignited.
After the relationship spark is re-ignited.

Now that you’ve won back the love of your partner, you’ll want to keep it, right? Well, as long as you continue to incorporate these ideas (as well as any new ones you may have) into your relationship, and have her reciprocate the same actions, the two of you will be just fine.

Here’s to peace and love!

About the Author

Thessa Phillips Image

Thessa Phillips is a passionate writer and content contributor for Chat Line Numbers, as well as a part-time relationship counselor based in San Francisco, CA. With her deep knowledge of the dating industry and years of experience counseling couples and individuals, Thessa has created many viral articles on dating tips and tricks. In addition to writing, she enjoys watching movies and going to the theater.