Being in love is a feeling unlike any other. When you find someone who causes you to feel those things, it makes you never want to let go of them until it does. Of course, there are situations and relationships that make it, but other times you might find yourself wanting or needing to break up with that person you love so much.
Wanting VS Needing to Break Up
Sometimes you are in a situation where you know you want to break up with that person who you love. Other times, you wish you didn't have to break up with them, but you know you need to, for different reasons. These are some of the differences between wanting and needing to break up with them.
- Wanting to break up with someone you love: You may love that person, but for one reason or another, you want to end things with them. You no longer want a relationship with them. Perhaps your love for them is still present but has transformed into a different kind of love, most likely a less passionate love.
- Needing to break up with someone you love: In this case, you wish you didn't have to break up with them, but you need to. This could be for a variety of reasons, such as you are going to be living somewhere far away and you don't wish to explore a long-distance relationship even though you would like to be in a relationship with that person, or maybe you know you need to be apart from your significant other to grow more as a person. This is the most difficult one of the 2 because you don't want to do it, but deeply feel you need to.
Reasons Why You Keep Pushing the Relationship
You might know the breakup is coming, but for some reason, you keep pushing it. These are some of the possible reasons you might be pushing your relationship.
You get used to it.
Change is difficult for most people, and when you're used to someone's company, talking to them, having them do nice things for you, etc., it makes approaching that change even harder. Understandably, you might be avoiding breaking up with that person.
Still, you need to stop pushing the relationship more and more and figure out a plan for when you break up with them, so you can better navigate the process of losing something you are so used to.
You love them.
Obviously, if you love someone, not being with them will be incredibly difficult. Although you know breaking up with them is approaching, you don't want it to be because of how much you love them, so you push the relationship a little more to avoid the break up for a little longer.
Sometimes you're with someone and form a special bond with their family, or they form one with yours. Maybe they have a special effect on one of you, or you deeply care about them or what they'll think if you break up. There are a variety of reasons why the family bond could be a factor, but you know when you break up with them things won't be the same.
Friend groups splitting.
If you have shared friends or happen to be in the same friend group, the chance of the friend group splitting is high. Perhaps if you can end on good terms, it could be okay, but it's a tricky situation to navigate, and it will likely be tricky for your friends as well.
Fear of being alone.
Suddenly being alone can be a difficult feeling to navigate. Especially if the relationship was serious, if you spent a lot of time together, or if it was a long relationship. In these cases, it's even more likely you will deal with a fear of being alone and, for that reason, avoid terminating the relationship. Don't worry. All of the feelings you will experience are valid, and they are all manageable.
Although this sounds selfish, some people hold onto a relationship and keep trying to make it work because of finances or other conveniences. It might be difficult to do things like dividing your assets and whatnot, but this should not be a reason you stay in a relationship.
Reasons to Break Up With Someone You Love
These are some reasons you might be breaking up with the person you still love.
Different life goals.
Unfortunately, your life goals aren't always going to line up with your partner's life goals, and neither of you should have to sacrifice the big things in life for one another. Sometimes when you are in this situation, the best thing to do is to go your separate ways so you can both accomplish everything you want to in life.
If your relationship is going to work, you need to have similar values as the other person. It's okay to have different opinions, but your core values should be aligned, and if they're not, you may need to talk about what that means for the relationship. If you can be respectful towards the other person despite their different values, then perhaps you can make the relationship work.
However, if you plan to share a whole life with the person and perhaps eventually build a family together, you may clash even more when deciding what values will be practiced and which ones won't be.
Some professions are not relationship friendly, but you need to prioritize what will make you grow and fulfill you the most before anyone else. So if your career goals don't line up, or you can't understand each other's career goals, then perhaps it's time to end the relationship.
Lack of passion.
In the beginning, everything is new and fun, and there's likely lots of passion fueling the relationship. Over time this may die down, and if you don't figure out how to keep it alive, it could be a reason you will find yourself wanting to end the relationship.
Steps to Break Up With Someone You Love
It is a challenge to break up with someone you love, but sometimes there is no better solution than to take the leap and do it. It will be much harder if you love them than if you don't. Listed below, you'll find the steps you should take to break up with someone you love and succeed.
1. Tell them.
The first and most important step is to communicate that you are breaking up with them. To successfully do so, try practicing what you will say beforehand, or at least think about what you will say so you don't go into the conversation too scatter-minded. You could also write down what you want to say, so you remember to cover all of the important points you want to cover.
However you choose to deliver the message, you must be clear when communicating this to avoid confusion and possible misunderstandings.
2. Don't communicate.
After breaking up with them, avoid communicating with them. You'll probably want to because you're likely used to talking to them frequently. If you don't talk to them anymore, you'll feel the lack of their presence, and it might be difficult to learn how to get through, but in the long run, it's probably best to cut communication as soon as you can. You will each have more space to process things and begin healing from the breakup by doing this.
3. Don't meet up with them.
If you shouldn't be communicating with them, you definitely should not be hanging out with them. You need to establish boundaries for yourself and for each other in order to have a smooth break up and so that you can both heal more efficiently.
4. Distract yourself.
Don't sit around doing anything, welcoming any sad or negative emotions. Instead, find things to do, go out with friends, meet new people, explore new hobbies, try new things. Explore anything that might distract you from thinking about them, or the breakup. By distracting yourself, you also avoid the urge to talk to them or even to attempt to see them.
5. Wait for certain feelings to pass.
Especially if your relationship was significant or lasted a long time, you'll need to wait for certain feelings to pass. You can't turn off how you feel about someone immediately, so you will have to be patient and trust the process you are going through.
To sum it up:
Sometimes the ending of a relationship is unavoidable, no matter how hard you try to run away from it or prevent it from happening. No one likes going through a break up, but if it needs to happen, it needs to happen.
Hopefully, with the information above, you now know how to identify when you need to break up with someone, different reasons you may avoid breaking up with that person, and how to go about breaking up with that person you love so much.
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