Getting over someone is not as easy as it seems. In fact, it can be harder than letting go. Many people struggle to move on due to the continuous waves of emotions that come with a breakup.
Unfortunately, this pain and emotional struggle is a natural part of the grieving process in breakups. There’s no shortcut to recovery, but it’s important to remember that the pain won’t last forever. Sooner or later, you will find a way to deal with your emotions and move forward.
After a breakup, people often try different methods to get over their ex, such as finding distractions or seeking rebounds. However, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to get over someone, as only time can truly heal a broken heart.
Instead of battling with your emotions, it’s essential to accept the pain and go through the grieving process. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s the only way to find acceptance and move on.
Research suggests that it takes an average of 11 weeks to feel better after a breakup and up to 18 months to recover from a failed marriage. However, everyone’s journey to healing is different and varies significantly. For some, the pain may never completely go away, but they eventually learn to live with it.
Every relationship and emotional experience brings its own unique set of feelings and memories. Whether you’re trying to move on from a failed relationship or dealing with rejection, the key is to find the courage to take steps towards leaving the past behind. Here are pieces of advice on getting over someone after a major heartbreak.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain.
Some people tend to block their emotions in an attempt to evade them. However, the truth is that the pain will not simply disappear unless you deal with it. Putting your feelings in an imaginary box and locking it away will only delay your recovery.
If you want to get over someone without carrying the excess emotional baggage, it’s important to allow yourself to feel the pain by acknowledging and accepting your own feelings. Once you’ve accepted them, find ways to release your emotions in a way that can relieve or soothe you.
Here are some examples of how to deal with your emotions:
- Cry your heart out to release the heaviness in your chest.
- Take up sports like boxing or kickboxing to channel your anger and pain into physical activity.
- Go for a run outdoors and get some fresh air. Converting your pain into active energy can help put your mind at ease.
- Confide in someone you trust and feel comfortable with, so you can talk through your feelings.
- Find a secluded place where you can scream at the top of your lungs and release your pain, anger, and emotional baggage.
- Throw rocks as hard and as far as you can into the ocean.
- Write down everything you feel in a personal journal.
2. Understand That It’s a Process.
Getting over someone is a complex process that involves grief, acceptance, and forgiveness. It takes time and a significant amount of strength to overcome, especially if the breakup came as a surprise. However, it’s a necessary step if you want to move on without pain, regret, or anger.
Some days, you’ll feel an overwhelming wave of sadness, and there may be moments when crying is all that’s left to do. You may even find yourself dwelling on your actions and wondering what went wrong.
But it’s important to understand that these are all normal parts of the healing process, and there are often no shortcuts. The longer and deeper the relationship, the harder it is to get over the heartbreak.
The good news is that every day is a step closer to healing and recovery. In the process, you’re discovering newfound strength within yourself. So, no matter how much it hurts, keep going. Wake up, dress up, and always show up because what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.
3. Go on a Social Media Break.
If your ex is still a part of your social media circle, consider taking a break from it for the time being. You don’t have to delete or block them, as doing so can come across as a sign of weakness, anger, or desperation.
It’s essential to accept the fact that no matter how many times you delete or block them from your social media or phone, they will still exist, and you may run into them sooner or later.
To get over someone, you don’t necessarily have to unfriend, unfollow, or block them. Instead, taking a social media break can be a helpful way to avoid seeing their posts and prevent you from checking up on them. Moreover, it’s an opportunity to reset your mind and focus on other important things besides social media.
4. Don’t Call, Beg, or Ask for Attention.
If you want to get over someone without appearing needy or desperate, it’s important to avoid calling, begging, or seeking attention. Accept the situation with grace and resist the urge to ask for explanations. Continuously seeking answers to a stream of questions will only lead to emotional outbursts.
The last thing you’d want is to lose your self-control and initiate a “blame game” that can further aggravate the situation.
Regardless of how difficult it may be, prioritize your self-worth. You don’t have to spend your nights calling your ex’s phone or stalking their social media. Sending messages won’t help you get over someone either. In fact, it can delay the healing process as you’ll end up waiting for a response.
If you truly intend to move on from your feelings for this person, avoid keeping in touch.
5. Get Rid of the Things That Remind You of Him.
If you’re familiar with the KonMari method or the process of tidying up, you know that it helps to “discard anything that doesn’t spark joy.” This is the principle behind Marie Kondo’s book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.”
The idea is simple: get rid of everything that doesn’t bring you joy to generate positivity and peace within your personal space. Putting away framed pictures, getting rid of your ex’s belongings, and discarding anything that triggers pain can help you move on from someone.
This is a healthy way to rebuild your life and remodel your personal space at the same time. By getting rid of the old and adding in the new, you can start a new chapter in your life.
6. Get Productive by Discovering New Hobbies and Activities.
Mind conditioning can help you move on from someone without blaming yourself or the other person. Instead of wallowing in self-pity or nurturing your anger, focus your mind on other things. One way to do this is by discovering new hobbies and exploring various activities at home or outdoors.
Think of something you’ve always wanted to try or learn, such as baking, experimenting with new recipes, creating art, starting a business venture, or blogging. Stay active by working out, tending to your garden, reorganizing your home, or repainting your room.
The goal is to keep your mind and body occupied with new hobbies and activities that yield positive outcomes.
7. Practice the Habit of Self-Affirmation Everyday.
Self-affirmations are positive statements, proclamations, and testimonials that can help you challenge negative feelings and overcome them. The practice involves repeating these affirmations several times at the beginning of your day or whenever you need to remind yourself of your value and worth as a person. Consistently repeating these affirmations can help you believe them and ultimately prompt positive changes in your life.
Practicing self-affirmation encourages you to focus on the important things in your life, such as your home, family, friends, career, faith, and passion. Through your affirmations, you can shift your focus to what remains in your life instead of dwelling on what is lost. This helps you gain a sense of appreciation for everything you have.
Here are some examples of self-affirmations:
- I am blessed, loved, and accepted.
- I am capable of being the best version of myself.
- I deserve to love and be loved. I embrace what remains in my life and let go of what is not meant for me.
- I am grateful for everything I have in my life, including my family, home, and health.
- I am worthy, important, and deserving of happiness and success.
The best thing about self-affirmations is that you can use your own words. You can constantly remind yourself of the things you tend to forget and look at your life from a positive perspective. By doing so, you can appreciate everything that adds meaning to your life each day.
8. Develop Self-Love and Self-Care Routine.
After a breakup, many people wonder what to do and how to get over someone. However, it’s important to remember that you can do a lot of things on your own to regain your confidence and self-worth.
Developing a simple “self-love” and “self-care” routine can help you feel good about yourself again. For example, you could enroll in a yoga class, visit a salon for a beauty make-over, shop for a new wardrobe, start a fitness regimen, enjoy a delicious meal in a nice restaurant, or practice daily meditation.
Remember that you can be alone but not lonely. If you can’t be happy on your own, how can you be happy in the company of another person? Don’t let your happiness depend on others, as this can keep you from moving on and appreciating what you can do.
To find your own happiness and get over someone without feeling abandoned, develop a strong sense of self-love and self-sufficiency.
9. Create Positive Changes in Your Life.
Small steps can eventually turn into big leaps if you’re willing to embrace change in your life. It may be difficult to stay positive and hopeful when your heart is broken, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy again.
Welcoming changes in your life can help you get over someone while improving your quality of life. It could be a life-changing event, such as:
- Moving to a new place.
- Starting a new job.
- Setting new goals.
- Developing a weekend routine.
- Making lifestyle modifications.
Creating positive changes in your life can make you feel good about yourself and empower you. It enables you to realize and discover things you can do and enjoy on your own.
For some people, watching the sunset and sunrise every day is a constant reminder that every ending can be beautiful and that something new is about to start if you allow your mind and body to rest for a while.
Getting over someone could be the start of something new.
There is no definitive answer on how to get over someone after a breakup or rejection. Every person has their own way of dealing with despair in love. There is also no specific timeframe as to how long you’ll have to endure the process. However, one thing is certain: you have the means to turn things in your favor and help yourself get back on track.
It may not be easy, but you can always look forward to something new. In time, you’ll be able to welcome beautiful changes in your life that can bring you profound happiness and inner peace, meant to last longer than any relationship.
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