When you’re starting to get to know someone, you want to make sure you’re able to ask them some of these important questions, if not all of these important questions, so that you can figure out if this is someone you want to continue to get to know before you end up catching deeper feelings for them just for it not to work out.
11 Questions to Ask a Guy You Like
Below are questions you should ask the guy you like to get to know better.
1. Would you like to have children in the future?
Knowing if the person you like wants to have children is crucial because if their answer doesn’t match yours, you may not want to pursue anything with them if what you’re looking for is something serious. It’s important to consider because it’s not a good idea to try to be in a relationship where one person wants to have kids and the other doesn’t.
If you would both like to have children, you may also want to ask about the timing and when they would like to have children. Although the timing isn’t as important as wanting children or not, it’s still something that could be a good idea to discuss.
2. How important is religion for you?
Some people aren’t religious at all, and they’re looking for a partner who is the same. Other people aren’t religious and don’t care if their partner is religious or not. There are also people that are religious, and they would like for their partner to be of the same religion as well.
Whatever the case, it’s important to talk about your religious beliefs and how important religion is to each of you. Ideally, you probably want someone to share your religious beliefs, but If your religion doesn’t match his and it’s not a dealbreaker, you should continue getting to know him.
3. What do you do for fun?
Finding out what the person you like does for fun can tell you a lot about him. It’s not the same if a person goes out every single weekend to party until late at night, meets up with friends at a restaurant to grab a bite, or stays at a friend’s house playing video games.
You want to know his idea of fun and how he spends his free time to see if his lifestyle matches yours or if you’re at least okay with what his lifestyle is like.
4. What are your career goals?
Getting to know your crush’s career goals is important for most people. Maybe he’s going to medical school for 7-8 years and doesn’t match your 3-4 year college plan. Asking about his career goals will also let you know if he will have to travel out of state or out of the country to pursue them and figure out how that fits into what you want.
Perhaps your plans are more easy-going and adaptable to whatever his situation is, or perhaps they’re not, and he would have to be willing to adapt to your plans if he can do so.
5. How often do you see your parents?
Family values are important for many people, and you should know what his family values are. Ideally, you want someone whose family values match yours. For example, if you’re not one to spend a ton of time with your family, you probably won’t want to spend a ton of time with their family either.
If you’re someone who loves spending time with family, you’ll probably be eager to spend time with his family, so finding someone who matches your family values will make things easier. If they don’t match your family values, it’s important for them to at least be respectful of yours, and vice versa.
6. Where do you see yourself living in the future?
It’s valuable to know where this person would like to live in the future in many aspects. Not only the location but also if they would like to live in a house or in an apartment too. Maybe they’re really adventurous and would like to live around the world, or they prefer to stay in their hometown and not venture too far out. You may agree with this or have dreams of your own that may or may not match his, so it’s good to talk about these things.
7. What are your relationship deal breakers?
This is something that is important to discuss because there are some things that you may feel a certain way about now, but in the future, your opinion may change, and there are some things where this won’t be the case. For example, you may not want children right now, but you’re open to the idea of having children in the future.
If the person you like thinks not wanting children ever is a deal breaker, but he’s understanding about you not wanting children in the near future, then you have nothing to worry about. This is why discussing deal breakers such as these is important, to avoid any misunderstandings.
8. What are your views on politics?
Similar to the question about religion, it’s smart to know their political stance and what kind of rights they support. You probably want to be with someone with similar political views to you because that means they believe in having the same rights that you think are important, and you agree on how things should be done wherever you live.
Having different political views can be tricky and make it difficult to have a good relationship, so pursuing something with this person wouldn’t be a good idea.
9. How long was your last relationship?
Asking how long their last relationship was, and how many relationships they’ve had can tell you a lot about how seriously they take their relationships and if they are cautious in their relationships or not. You don’t necessarily want to judge them right away if they give an answer you’re unhappy with, but you will want to ask more questions and get the full story.
10. Have you ever been married or engaged?
It’s important to know if the guy you like has been married or just engaged because, for someone to take those steps, they were either seriously committed to that person or make decisions without thinking about them too much. If they have been engaged or married, you’ll want to get the full story before jumping into anything serious with them.
11. What is your best quality?
This is a great question to ask because it allows you to see how confident they are in themselves. Someone with a lot of self-confidence will likely know his answer right away, or he’ll be able to come up with one quickly, whereas someone who isn’t very confident may take a long time to come up with an answer or struggle to even think of an answer.
How to Properly Ask Him Questions
Follow these steps to properly ask a guy questions and get the answers you want to know.
1. Ask in person.
The best way to ask someone questions and get real and honest answers is to do so in person. Asking them questions in person won’t let the guy think about his answers too much, and he’ll answer very honestly.
2. Ask in a quiet environment.
Make sure you’re not in a crowded place and that it’s not noisy either. A few places you may want to try are a coffee shop, a restaurant that doesn’t tend to be too busy, or maybe even a park. Some places you’ll want to avoid asking serious questions are bars, clubs, or when you’re with a large group of friends.
3. Remember your questions.
It’s understandable that the guy you want to answer your questions is someone you like. Don’t be nervous, and try to remember your questions before starting to ask them. You don’t want the guy to think that every time you meet will feel like an interview, so try to remember and only ask questions the first or second time you’re chatting with him, and not every single time so you don’t annoy him.
4. Give a break between questions.
Don’t ask questions one after another because he’ll feel like it’s an interview. Allow a conversation to form around the questions, share your opinions, and tell each other stories you may remember that have to do with the questions. This will avoid structure and make it feel less like an interview.
For many reasons, it’s important to ask these deep questions and know how to ask them. If you ask at the wrong time or place and the questions can’t be answered with an honest answer or at least a well-thought answer, then you’re almost wasting your opportunity to ask the questions because asking twice wouldn’t be a good idea. So make sure you keep all of the tips and steps mentioned above when asking the guy you like all of these questions.