Every relationship comes to a point wherein you realize that the person you’re with is the same person that you cannot live without. So you start building your hopes and dreams that what you share with this person can stand the test of time and overcome all challenges.
It’s not easy to maintain a relationship and to keep it going especially when you’re starting to deal with your individual differences. However, a “happy ever after” can never be far behind if you’re willing to make compromises and if what you feel for each other is far stronger than any issues you may have.
Here is a checklist that can help you determine if your relationship is bound to succeed or headed to Splitsville;
1. You give each other time and space to do the things you love
One of the strongest elements that make up a successful relationship is love. When you truly love someone, you allow this person to be happy by allowing him/her to do the things that he/she loves while giving your entire support.
In return, you are likewise given the freedom to pursue the things or activities you like to do. Giving each other time and space is essential for individual growth.
This also means that you’re acknowledging each other’s potentials and all the things that you could accomplish despite of being in a relationship.
2. You are each other’s best friend in good times and bad times
Who is the first person that comes into your mind when you receive wonderful news? Is this the same person that also pops into your mind when you receive a bad one?
If your intention is to take your relationship on to the next level, this person you’re with must be someone that you can trust and rely on whether life gets easy or tough on you – like a loyal best friend.
This person should be someone whom you can count on to share anything with you, good and bad; and not someone you’re dreading and constantly worried about if life gets more difficult.
A relationship that is bound to be successful is one that involves two people who aren’t afraid to face life’s twists and turns.
3. You both know that “love is NOT everything you’ll ever need to survive”
If you want your relationship to succeed, you must learn how to draw the line between fantasy and reality. Don’t be blinded by epigrams that imply ideas such as “all you need is love” and “you’re all I need in this world”.
Love won’t pay the bills and won’t put food on the table. Love won’t help you keep your house, your job or your car. Believing that love is enough is fantasy.
Reality check; the strength of a relationship will be tested once the bills start piling up and it’s time to manage your finances, when there are no more extravagant dates, vacations, and honeymoons to look forward to because you have to start saving, when work starts to get in the way, when other people attempt to challenge your relationship and when arguments become more frequent.
All these things are part of the reality and there’s actually even more. So if you really want to determine if your relationship will succeed, do some reality check. Are you willing to carry on through these?
4. You’re willing to accept each other’s flaws
Keep in mind that you’re having a relationship with a human being; somebody who’s not as perfect as Barbie or Ken. When you’re dating, you’ll tend to see only the best.
You pay attention to every detail; the clothes you’ll wear and make up, shoes, your body language and gestures, and even your manner of speaking. However, the intent to appear flawless can only last for so long.
Over time, you’ll discover that your “used to be” perfect date isn’t as perfect after all. She’s not as pretty without makeup on, he snores really loud, she constantly nags, his feet sucks, she’s very disorganized and the list of flaws goes on.
If you’re willing to accept that this person isn’t Miss or Mister Perfect, and you’re willing to embrace all the imperfections, then there’s hope for your relationship.
5. You don’t have to make an impression to feel accepted
One of the things that make dating and relationship as different as night and day is that when you’re dating, you try to make nice impressions. But when you’re in a relationship, real situations are actually revealed.
A successful relationship is one wherein making an impression is not as important anymore. It’s that state wherein you feel accepted even if you didn’t get the promotion or you failed in your business venture. You feel secure even if your cooking sucks and your hair’s a complete mess all day.
A relationship that’s bound to last is not based on making impressions but rather accepting each other despite your failures and shortcomings.
6. Forgiving each other for mistakes and weaknesses
Committing mistakes and making wrong decisions is part of being human. In a relationship, if you have the will-power to forgive, then you can have a future together. No single person is spared from temptation.
For example; men might easily be drawn to attractive women at work while women have the tendency to take their partners for granted without even realizing it. If you’re willing to forgive each other and to offer a second chance, you might just be able to pick up from where you left off.
It may not be easy but it is always worth it if you really want to save your relationship. Allow your mistakes to serve as lessons.
7. You respect each other’s friends and families
Even before you got into a relationship, there were already a lot of important people in your life. A healthy relationship will not pull you away from these people regardless of any circumstances.
Even if you are in a relationship, you must learn to acknowledge that the world in not made entirely just for the two of you and that you need other people to grow and to be happy.
If these people whom you consider as vital to your existence are loved and respected by your partner, boyfriend or girlfriend as well, it’s a good indication that your relationship will succeed because this accounts for one less conflict to deal with.
8. You take care of each other’s health and wellness
A promising relationship is one that is concerned with each other’s health and well-being. When you start to pay attention to each other’s health and you take time to take care of the other person, it’s a good sign that your relationship has gone deeper and has gotten real.
This also reflects a sense of responsibility for each other which signifies a more mature relationship. So if you feel that you’re being taken care of and the state of your health matters to your significant other, it could be a sign of a relationship that’s bound to last.
9. You are aligned with your future plans and aspirations
Compatibility plays a major role in every relationship. This implies that your current situation and plans for the future are aligned with each other. This could mean both of you wanting to have a long-term and stable relationship, get married someday or build your own family.
Gone are the days when women have to be submissive to whatever men want. Times have changed to reveal that what women aspire for may be different from what men want in their relationship.
For this reason, it is important to align your plans and aspirations with each other to determine if what you want is amenable to the other. If you are compatible in terms of your goals and plans and you have the same beliefs, you can have a more successful relationship.
10. Both of you are not afraid of commitment
For a relationship to prosper, both parties involved must not be afraid of commitment. This is usually where problems arise because most men are afraid to be committed to a long-term relationship thinking that happy days would soon be over. While women, on the other hand, can only dream about having “ever after” with their man.
In order for a relationship to last and to become successful, the willingness to stay committed should be mutual. You can always make arrangements on how you can maintain each other’s freedom on some aspects of your life;
but the real deal comes from staying loyal to each other regardless of any circumstance. If both of you are willing to commit to such arrangement wholeheartedly; your relationship can stay wonderful for a long time.
Whether a relationship would succeed or not is never answerable by a “yes” or a “no”. A relationship is also not a condition that can be diagnosed to determine the prognosis.
Its success depends entirely on the two people involved and on how they will choose to manage their relationship based on the signs mentioned.
There is also no such thing as a “one size fits all” type of checklist that is applicable to any relationship because each one is unique and has its own qualities. Even if you’ll exert your best efforts, you can only do so much.
Because in the end, it’s all based on how you feel about the relationship you’re in – if it makes you happy and if it’s helping you become a better person. Only time can determine the certainty of any relationship and the only thing you could do is to give your best and to put your heart into it.