When you listen to Beyoncé’s “Broken-Hearted Girl,” you realize that moving on from a relationship that felt like a fairytale isn’t as easy as you might have thought. The song’s lyrics describe a woman struggling to let go of the love of her life.
The same goes for Ne-Yo’s “So Sick.” The R&B artist is constantly brought to tears by love songs, and he can’t seem to shake his ex’s voice from his answering machine.
As social beings, we thrive on meaningful connections that give our lives purpose. So what happens when a once-beautiful love story comes to a sudden end? I know firsthand how painful it can be to experience that feeling of being stung by a thousand scorpions.
Believe it or not, I’m something of an unlicensed doctor, a medicine man of sorts, and a surgeon of the “get back up” mentality. Allow me to help you find balance, so you can move on with your life.
Most of us probably wish we could disappear and numb ourselves to the pain of heartbreak.
Ask yourself, is a breakup the reason why we wish to have ice-boxes in our hearts? Or is it another bad experience that we should weather and come out stronger than before? While it can be challenging to let go of our exes, we must gather enough energy, keep our heads up, and move forward with our lives.
Trying to fix relationships that are beyond repair is a waste of time. It’s like trying to put together the pieces of a broken eggshell. The same applies when we constantly relive the past through flashbacks of the good old days.
I’m not a cold-hearted reptile that forgets about the good times easily. I am a realist who wants to convey a message that says, “If you try to fix something that burned to ashes right before your eyes, a relationship that you thought you spent a lifetime building, you are dooming yourself to a miserable lifestyle that will see you waste your time.”
I understand that the more intense or intoxicating our love lives are, the harder it is to move on. We must find the strength to let go of the idea that our situation will change and we’ll get back together eventually.
From personal experience, I’ve learned that it’s essential not to focus on the “why” but to focus on the lessons we’ve learned and use them to become better people. Remember, everything happens for a reason. Your ex may have been one of the many “frogs” you had to kiss before finding your soulmate.
Now, let’s talk about how to live a fulfilling life after a breakup. How do we cope with emotional pain and get our exes out of our minds? Let’s find out. The following 11 tips are expert-certified and will help you move on from someone you once loved:
1. Get Rid of Any Physical Reminders of Your Ex.
Do you ever find yourself looking around your house and being reminded of your ex? Maybe a Valentine’s Day gift or a piece of clothing that still has their scent? If so, it’s time to get rid of these items. Consider donating them if possible.
Removing physical reminders of your ex can help you move on and let go. Your subconscious mind will no longer be triggered by these items, allowing you to focus on moving forward.
2. Don’t Sleep With Your Ex After a Breakup.
Having sex with your ex is an absolute no. It’s like breaking a commandment, knowing full well that the consequences will be nothing short of hell on earth. It’s a silly idea that only leads to more pain and heartache.
Sex with your ex intensifies feelings of intimacy, which is the last thing you need, especially if you’ve just come out of a toxic relationship. Letting go of your ex will help you heal emotionally and move on faster.
3. Avoid Stalking Your Ex.
Many people are tempted to stalk their exes on social media, wanting to know what’s going on in their lives and if they’re happy without them. However, it’s important to accept that the relationship is over. If the urge to check up on your ex is too strong to resist, consider blocking them on all social media platforms.
Stalking your ex will only ruin your day and leave you feeling more helpless than before. Logging into your Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or Twitter account to check up on them is not worth the negative impact it will have on your mental health. Consider unblocking them only after you feel that you’ve fully moved on, even if it takes a couple of years.
4. Give Yourself Time to Heal.
Taking some time for yourself after a breakup is essential. Take all the time you need to focus on yourself and invest your energy into the things you love or have always wanted to try.
Set new challenges for yourself and celebrate each milestone you reach. By doing this, you’ll start to forget about your ex and move on faster than you thought possible.
5. Spend Time With Friends and Loved Ones.
Spending quality time with your friends and loved ones is one of the best ways to forget about your feelings. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and want the best for you. Plan a vacation or a road trip together and create new memories.
Another great idea is to reconnect with long-lost friends and catch up on old times. Many people have tried this and found that it works like magic.
6. Avoid Visiting Places That Hold Special Meaning for You and Your Ex.
It’s normal to create memories with people we’re intimate with. Perhaps you have a habit of going to a particular park to stargaze, or visiting specific restaurants or movie theaters together.
However, visiting these places not only puts you at risk of running into your ex, but also refreshes memories you’re trying to forget. These memories can haunt you for days and keep emotional wounds fresh for a long time.
To maintain your sanity, avoid visiting these places. Remind yourself that the present is a gift worth living, and that the past is never better than reality.
7. Focus on Your Own Goals
You may have broken up with your ex because you felt that some or all of your needs weren’t being met in the relationship. These needs may not have been communicated, or they may have been ignored or rejected.
Regardless of what those needs were or who is to blame, the important thing now is to find ways to be happy. It’s time to figure out how to meet your needs without involving your ex.
Remember, your ex is your ex for a reason. Your relationship didn’t work out, and that’s okay. It’s time to focus on your own happiness, because ultimately, no one else is responsible for it but you.
8. Invest Time in Yourself.
During your relationship with your ex, you may not have had the chance to enjoy life’s little pleasures for various reasons. For example, you may have wanted to adopt a puppy, but couldn’t because your ex was allergic to dogs.
If this is the case, consider adopting as many dogs as you’d like. You could also enroll in yoga or karate classes now that you have more free time. Use this tough period to acquire new skills and make the most of your situation. Remember, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
9. Get Closure.
Now that you’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re no longer in a relationship with your ex, it’s important to find closure. One way to do this is by asking your ex what bothered them about you.
Don’t be bitter if your flaws are pointed out, because only a fool hates criticism. Take your time to reflect on your weaknesses and find ways to work on yourself to become a better person. Failing to learn from past mistakes could potentially harm your future relationships.
10. Forgive and Forget.
The final step in moving on from a failed relationship is forgiveness. It’s important not only to ask for forgiveness for any mistakes you may have made, but also to forgive yourself for any shortcomings or the role you played in the relationship’s failure.
Self-forgiveness is crucial for finding happiness, as it allows you to let go of any emotional burden. Forgiveness can help you live a life free from pain.
11. Talk to Others.
After giving yourself time to heal, it’s important to become excited about the possibility of meeting someone new. Life is all about excitement, so why not surround yourself with new people at work, school, or other social events?
If you’re not yet ready to pursue new friendships, or you don’t feel ready to do so, you can consider using chat line numbers to chat anonymously with people. You might find it enjoyable.
Moving on after breaking up with someone you love might seem like an impossible mission. However, by following and practicing the tips discussed in this article, you can move on with your life.
You’ll not only heal from the emotional pain, but you’ll also find new meaning in life. Heartbreaks are opportunities for personal growth and new experiences. Adopting a positive outlook will reveal the good things that await you.
Don’t let a heartbreak determine your future. Instead, use it as a catalyst to become a better person.