When you listen to Beyoncé’s ‘Broken-Hearted Girl,’ you realize that coming out of a relationship that seemed like a fairy tale is not as easy as you think. The song lyrics tell of a lady who is having a hard time moving on from the love of her life.
The same applies to Ne-yo’s ‘So Sick,’ the RnB king is continuously moved to tears by random love songs. His life is made harder by the fact that he holds onto his ex’s voice that’s on his answering machine.
Human beings are social creatures fueled by meaningful bonds that keep them going. So, what happens when suddenly a beautiful love story comes to an end? I know that going through such an experience feels like death by a thousand scorpion stings because I have gone down that road several times.
You may not be aware, but I’m an unlicensed doctor, a medicine man of sorts, and a surgeon of the ‘get back up’ after days and days of feeling blue. So, let me help you get better so that you can move on with your life.
Most of us wish that the world would open up and swallow us so that we can become numb from a heartbreak.
Ask yourself, is a breakup the reason why we wish to have ice-boxes in our hearts? Or is it another bad experience that we should weather and come out stronger than before? In as much as it’s challenging to let go of our exes, we have to gather up enough energy, keep our heads up, and move on with our lives.
Trying to fix relationships that are beyond repair is a waste of time. It’s like trying to put together the pieces of a broken eggshell. The same applies when we relive our past life by continuously having flashbacks of the good old days.
I’m not a cold-hearted reptile that quickly forgets about the good times. I am a realist who is trying to put across a message that says ‘if you try to fix something that you thought you spent a lifetime building, a relationship that burnt to ashes right before your eyes, you are sentencing yourself to a miserable lifestyle that will see you waste your yourself.’
I’m aware that the more intoxicating or intense your love life was, the more difficult it is to move on. You have to be strong enough and get rid of the idea of hoping that your situation will change and you will get back together after some time.
Personal experience has taught me that you should never focus on the ‘why.’ Instead, focus on the lessons that you learned and make yourself a better person. After all, everything happens for a reason. Your ex might be one of the many frogs you have to kiss before getting ‘the one’-your soulmate.
Enough with the pep talk. Let’s focus on how you can live a fulfilling life after coming out of a relationship. How does one cope with emotional pain? How do we get our exes out of our minds? Let’s find out. The following tips are expert-certified, and they will help you forget about someone you once loved:
11 Tips to Forget Someone You Love
1. Get Rid of Your Ex’s Physical Reminders.
When you look around your house, do your eyes land on something that reminds you of your ex? A Valentine’s gift perhaps? Do some of your clothes have your ex’s scent? If so, get rid of such things as soon as yesterday. If possible, donate them.
Removing such items will help you forget about your ex. Your subconscious will no longer linger on your ex. In fact, this is a perfect way of letting your brain process the fact that you are moving.
2. Never Sleep With Your Ex After a Breakup.
Sleeping with your ex is an absolute NO. It’s like breaking a commandment knowing perfectly well that the repercussions will be nothing short of hell on earth. Sleeping with your ex is a silly idea. It’s like a dog that goes back to its vomit; nothing good comes from it.
Having sex with your ex intensifies feelings of intimacy, which is the last thing you need, especially if you have just come out of a toxic relationship. Letting go of your ex will help you heal your emotional wounds faster.
3. Never Stalk Your Ex.
Most people are often tempted to stalk their exes on social media. They want to know what is going on in their lives and if they are happy without them. Accept that your relationship never worked and if the urge to check up on them is irresistible, block them on all social media platforms.
Stalking your ex will only destroy your day. Doing this will make you feel more helpless than you did before logging in to your Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or Twitter account. Unblock them after you feel that you have moved on, even if it’s after a couple of years.
4. Give Yourself Time to Heal.
Having some alone time is recommended after coming out of a relationship. Take your sweet time and focus on yourself. Invest your energy into the things you love or the things you have always longed for.
Give yourself new challenges and celebrate the little milestones you make. Doing this will make you forget about your ex faster than a reptile forgets its offspring.
5. Spend Time With Your Friends and Loved Ones.
Spending quality with your friends and loved ones is one of the ways you can forget about your misery. Hang out with people who bring out the best in you. Spend time with those who want the best for you. You can plan a vacation together or go on a road trip.
A better idea is getting in touch with your long lost friends so that you can catch up. This idea has been tried by many, and it has always worked its magic.
6. Don’t Visit the Special Places You Shared.
It is normal to create memories with people we are intimate with. You might have cultivated a habit of spending time in a particular park every night to watch the stars, going out to specific restaurants, or going to certain movies theatres every once in a while.
Visiting these places not only puts you in the risk of meeting your ex, but you also refresh certain memories worth forgetting. Such memories will haunt us for days, and they will keep the wounds in your heart fresh for a very long time.
Stop visiting such places to maintain your sanity. Always remind yourself that the present is a gift worth living, and the past is never better than reality.
7. Focus on Your Dreams and Needs.
You might have broken up with your ex because you felt that some or all of your needs were not met while in the relationship. These needs were neither communicated, or they were turned down or ignored.
Whatever these needs were, and whoever is to be blamed does not matter. At this point, what matters is finding ways of being happy. It’s high time you figure out how to meet your needs without involving your ex.
He or she is your ex for a reason. Your relationship did not work out, and that’s fine. Now, focus on making yourself happy because no one is responsible for your happiness apart from you.
8. Invest in Yourself.
You might not have had the opportunity of enjoying the little pleasures of life when you were with your ex for one reason or the other. For instance, you might be a dog person, but you couldn’t adopt a puppy because your ex is allergic to dogs.
If this is the case, adopt as many dogs as you wish. You can also enroll in yoga or karate classes now that you don’t have the time for going out on dates. Make the best out of this tough period by acquiring new skills. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
9. Get Closure.
Now that it has sunk in that you are no longer in a relationship with your ex, find a way to get closure. You may do this by asking your ex what bothered them about you.
Do not be bitter when your flaws are pointed out for only a fool hates corrections. Take your time and internalize your weaknesses and figure out a way of working on yourself to make yourself a better person. Otherwise, failure to learn from past mistakes might wreck your future relationships.
10. Forgive and Forget.
The last nail in the coffin of a failed relationship is forgiving and forgetting. Not only should you ask for forgiveness for past mistakes, but you should also forgive yourself for your shortcomings or for the role that you played in making the relationship fail.
Self-forgiveness is the most important aspect of finding happiness because you’ll get things off your chest. Forgiveness helps you live a pain-free life.
11. Talk to Others.
Yes, after you give yourself some time to heal it's needed that you get excited about meeting someone new. Life is all about excitements, so why not get surrounded by new people at work, at school, etc...
If you're the type of individual that's not ready to face a new friendship, or you don't feel ready for it, then you can try using chat line numbers to start just chatting with anonymous people. You might find it fun.
Moving on after breaking up with someone you love might seem like an impossible mission. However, following and practicing the tips discussed in this article will help you move on with your life.
You will not only heal from the emotional pain you are going through, but you will also find a new meaning of life.
Heartbreaks are meant to show us that we are not yet where you ought to be. They lead us to new journeys that are worth the ride. Cultivate a glass-half-full mentality, and you will be surprised at the good things that await you.
Never let a heartbreak determine your destiny. Instead, make it shape you into becoming a better person.
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