When you’re going on a first date, there is lots of excitement and possibly lots of nerves too. Remember, it’s important to discuss certain topics on a first date, aside from simply getting to know the person more, because it will determine if it’s worth going on a second date with them or not. Below, we’ve gathered some of the most important and best conversation topics you should consider talking about when you’re on your first date.
1. Talk about your weekend plans.
This is a casual topic that can allow you to get to know your date more and for them to get to know you more as well. Hopefully, you have something interesting going on and can reply more than something like ‘nothing, it’s going to be a chill weekend’; if you don’t, you might want to try mentioning a hobby you’ll be working on instead.
Even if all you’re doing is watching the re-run of one of your favorite tv shows, it’s worth mentioning because it could be something you have in common or simply something you can further discuss. On the flip side, if you don’t have anything going on and you’re having fun, you could mention an activity you’ve been wanting to do or a restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to and ask them if they’d like to go with you.
2. Talk about whether they live alone or with others.
This is something that can be very important in some relationships. It also depends on what stage of life you’re at and how old you are, but in most cases, you’re looking for your partner to live on their own or to have a good reason as to why they’re living with their family. If you’re both on the younger side, it wouldn’t be strange to still be living at home. However, if you’re in your late twenties or older, it could be a red flag if you’re still living with your parents.
Every situation is different, and it’s a good idea to ask about this and have an honest conversation about it. Perhaps they were independent at one point, had a financial hardship, and had to move back home, or maybe there was a health issue with one of their family members, and they had a role as a caretaker. Whatever the case, this is a good topic to discuss on the first date because it allows you to get to know your date a little bit more and what their personal life is like.
3. Talk about your views on having kids.
It might seem too soon to be having this conversation, but you don’t need to make it all that deep. This is a topic you will want to discuss very lightly on a first date. Just enough to know if the other person wants kids, and to get your opinion on the topic, too, so you know if it’s worth continuing. However, you don’t want to discuss it too much because it’s only the first date, and it could be overwhelming to talk about something so life-changing and serious.
4. Talk about past relationships.
This is another topic you don’t want to get into details about, but it could be worth discussing so you know what you’ve both been through and what you expect in a relationship moving forward. Perhaps one of you has been cheated on, leaving scars you’re still healing from, or maybe one of you has never been in a relationship, which is also important to disclose.
This is another topic that could be overwhelming to spend too much time on because you’re still getting to know the other person, so keep it short when discussing past relationships.
5. Talk about hobbies.
This means you should talk about everything you like to do, not just things in one category. Talk about things you like to do when you have free time, if you enjoy outdoor activities, and which ones you like most if you’re someone who likes to go out a lot or someone who enjoys staying in.
This topic will allow you to really get to know your date, what they enjoy doing, and their idea of fun. Hopefully, you’re able to find things you have in common or new things to try together, making it an opportunity for another date.
6. Talk about whether they’re seeing other people.
This can be an awkward conversation, depending on how it’s delivered. You don’t want to come off as possessive or jealous on the first date, so only ask if you can be chill about it. Understand that they might be okay with dating around and talking to multiple people, and you might be the complete opposite. Don’t have your mind set on receiving one specific answer.
7. Talk about your hometown and childhood.
Talking about how you grew up is a great way to further get to know what your date is really like. How someone is raised greatly influences what they’re like as an adult. Talking about where you’re from can lead to conversations comparing where you’re both from, learning about each other’s cultures if they’re different, or perhaps bonding over how you grew up nearby and went to all the same places. Depending on their answer, the conversation could go one of many ways, but they will all be positive and encourage more conversation.
8. Talk about career goals.
Ask them what they do for a living, and share what you do. Talk about what areas of your career you’d like to grow in, accomplishments, and aspirations too. If you or they are in between jobs, discuss what you’ve done in the past or what you’re aiming for. Even if you’re at a point where you’re doing nothing because you’re figuring it out, try to provide an interesting answer so you can keep the conversation going.
9. Talk about your favorite shows and movies.
Ask them if they’re more of a tv show person or if they’re more of a movie person. Based on their answer, ask them what they’re currently watching or what their all-time favorite show or movie is, and share yours. Perhaps they’re not huge fans of the big screen and prefer listening to music. If that’s the case, you can ask what their favorite band is, who their favorite artist is and if they’ve been to any good concerts recently.
This is another conversation that could turn into making plans for a second date so that you can watch the tv show or movie you talked about together or maybe even listen to that band they couldn’t stop talking about.
10. Talk about relationship deal breakers.
This is a topic that you’re going to want to discuss very casually. You can try poking fun here and there to make it more casual and not so serious. Find out what some of their relationship deal breakers are, those little things that they can’t get past and would make or break the relationship, and share yours too. Perhaps they state one that you definitely do, and you can know right away that it wouldn’t work out instead of wasting too much time getting to know them.
11. Talk about insecurities.
This can be a good topic to discuss, although it forces you to be more vulnerable. However, that’s why it’s a good topic to talk about on a first date. It will allow you to open up more and find out if the other person can be supportive of your insecurities or if they’re someone who doesn’t care too much and isn’t very supportive.
It will also allow you to see if they’re able to be vulnerable with you and open up about their insecurities or if they play it off as being super confident. We all have some insecurities. They may not affect us in a big way, but we all have at least one thing that we are insecure about, even if it’s small.
12. Talk about spontaneous topics and ask questions.
When in doubt about what to talk about, ask spontaneous questions. This can be any random question that you can think of. Sometimes, it even adds more fun to the conversation when you ask spontaneous questions, and if you’re nervous, they can be great icebreakers. These spontaneous questions don’t accomplish much, but they’re a great way to let loose and find out random things about your date. Here are some spontaneous questions you can ask:
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?
- If you could switch places with anyone, who would it be?
- If you could have been born in any decade, which one would it be and why?
Wrapping it up
It’s normal to be nervous on the first date, and it can be difficult to think of things to talk about when you feel like that. Now you have a list of questions that can help guide the conversation, and if all else fails, resort to asking spontaneous questions to avoid awkward silences and, instead, keep the conversation going.