When you’re in any relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic, you must have a certain amount of trust in the other person, and in the two of you as a partnership, for it to work smoothly.
Especially when it comes to romantic relationships, if you want to have a good, long-term, committed love life, you are going to have to learn to trust each other. This applies no matter the situation and no matter the people your partner is around.
Whether you are learning to trust someone for the very first time, or you are learning to trust someone after being hurt by them, the ways to build trust are the same.
Love is much more than just trusting your partner, though. In fact, they say there are seven main components to a steady and long-lasting love relationship:
The Seven Pillars of Love
1. Trust
As we have already stated, trust is essential in a relationship. You must trust each other and also trust yourself to remain faithful, loyal, and true only to each other. Without trust, the relationship can easily fall apart.
2. Teamwork
The saying ‘there is no ‘I’ in teamwork’ may sound cliche, but it’s true. While one person can build a mountain, two people working together can move them.
3. Communication
You’ve got to talk to each other, and I know most guys pretend they hate it. But if they would just sit with you one good time, listen with their heart, speak with their brain, and let you in on their lives too, then you’ll have the perfect recipe for love.
4. Honesty
Honesty is essential in a relationship because for some people, even one lie can lead to being cut off, while others may tolerate a few lies before ending things. Therefore, it’s important to be mindful of what you’re lying about and to what extent, as it can risk the entire relationship.
5. Respect
Respect is arguably the most important characteristic in a relationship because once you master it, you can master the other traits necessary for loving someone correctly. Having respect for another person allows you to empathize with them and understand where they’re coming from.
Think of someone you can’t stand; it’s likely because you don’t respect them. Imagine the feelings and views you have toward them without that respect. If you feel that way about your partner, you might as well be enemies.
6. Understanding
Understanding each other is essential in a relationship because disagreements are inevitable. To have healthy arguments, it’s important to understand where your partner is coming from. Beyond just arguments, it’s important to understand your partner as a whole, including their values and what they hold dear to their heart.
7. Love
Ultimately, everything comes back to loving each other. You know how after you’ve been with someone for years, you can start losing that loving feeling? Try to get it back if you feel like you are losing or have lost it. Love is only lost when it’s the end of the relationship and there is no longer a chance to work on it.
Having love for each other is a powerful force that can overcome many challenges. However, to have a long-lasting relationship, it’s important to combine it with all of the aforementioned traits as well.
9 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
Since this article is mainly focusing on trust and building it within your relationship, let’s jump back to some basic but effective ways that work to build trust with your partner.
Remember, building trust is a process that takes time and effort. That’s why it’s important to continue practicing the ways mentioned here so that your relationship doesn’t go stale and you don’t lose interest.
1. Be Vulnerable With One Another.
When you are vulnerable with someone and open up to them, that’s when the magic happens. There is something sexy, sweet, and incredibly loving about being vulnerable with someone and having them reciprocate that vulnerability. It shows that you’re human and have feelings, unlike players who don’t show vulnerability.
If trust has been broken and it’s taking time to rebuild, the one who caused the hurt should show vulnerability first to demonstrate their feelings and weakness. This can help the hurt person see that the person who caused the hurt is capable of being hurt too. Do you follow?
2. Be Honest With One Another.
Without honesty, there can be no trust in a relationship. If you lie to someone, even about something small, it can be difficult for them to trust you with bigger things as well. In fact, if you lie about something significant, it could be the end of your relationship.
To build trust, you should aim to be like Jim Carrey’s character in “Liar, Liar” – unable to tell a lie. This is especially important if trust has been broken in the past. You must demonstrate that you are trustworthy again, and that cannot happen if you continue to lie. So, learn to be honest, even if it means facing the uncomfortable truth.
3. Respect.
Respect is important not only to Aretha Franklin, but also to your partner and you if you want to have a good relationship. In fact, you’re even supposed to show respect to strangers and people you don’t like, so you should definitely show it to your lover.
Respect is more than just treating someone well; it’s about allowing them to make their own choices without judgment.
If trust has been broken, the person who broke it should show the utmost respect to the person who was hurt in order to rebuild the relationship. You should never expect the hurt person to be the first to try and fix things. This only reinforces the idea that they are more invested in the relationship than you are.
4. Forgive When Needed.
Forgiveness is super important, not just for the other person, but also for you. You can’t allow someone who hurt you to control your life by letting them take over your thoughts, body, and soul.
In fact, holding onto unforgiveness means that they are winning because you are the one who’s carrying the burden while they go about their lives without a care for what they did to you.
However, we hope that the person who broke your trust has given you every reason to forgive them and is doing everything they can to regain your trust. If you haven’t forgiven them yet, consider doing it for yourself and not just for them or your relationship.
5. Let Her Know That You Want to Earn Her Trust.
When someone pursues you and tries to win you over, it’s sexy and attractive. Who doesn’t want someone fighting for their love? The mere act of pursuing someone’s love and affection can trigger endorphins and serotonin, leading to a hot and heavy make-up session.
Seriously though, show them that you’re pursuing them and trying your best to earn their trust. They won’t be able to resist your efforts, and who knows, you might even earn their trust just by trying?
6. Share Your Feelings and Emotions.
Basically, don’t be a robot. Show them that you have feelings and emotions and that a lot of them are sparked by them. This is coupled with being vulnerable, as you’re able to let that person into a special part of you that not many people will ever get to know in your lifetime.
Let that sink in and then have an emotional heart-to-heart talk with them about your life together. Chances are your reactions and emotions will spark theirs too.
7. Keep a Balanced Give-And-Receive Relationship.
As with any relationship, giving and receiving must be equal. Otherwise, the relationship becomes imbalanced, and the person who is doing all of the giving can become resentful and bitter. Ultimately, this can ruin the relationship.
On the flip side, the person who is constantly receiving could start to feel one of two ways: conceited and entitled, expecting something from the other person all of the time, or they could start to feel guilty and worthless, unable to give as much as they receive.
This doesn’t mean that if one person is super generous and doesn’t mind giving all of the time, they should stop. It just means that both parties should watch their give and take and have an open conversation to ensure that they are on the same page.
8. Admit Your Mistakes.
No matter what anyone says, admitting your faults makes you a better person. There is something really attractive about people who can admit when they are wrong.
Not only is it attractive, but it also shows that the person has morals and remorse. It means they don’t want to hurt you intentionally but are just human and make mistakes, rather than being a malicious person who is ready and willing to hurt you however they see fit.
Even if you are the reason the relationship has broken trust, you still need to admit when you’re wrong in the past, future, and present. Your partner should do the same. Show them that you can admit your faults, and hopefully, they will follow your lead.
9. Prioritize One Another’s Needs
Sacrificing things you know and love is one of the biggest ways to say “I love you and I don’t want to be with anyone else, ever.” When you sacrifice these things and replace them with that special someone, it can lead to a lovely love life for the rest of your days.
Knowing that you are the apple of someone’s eye, the center of their world, is a feeling that people cherish. If you want to gain someone’s trust, this kind of sacrifice is a great way to do it.
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