Most men like to think they are confident when approaching women, that they do nothing wrong, and any time they get rejected they say “she wasn’t that pretty anyway”. Sure.
We don’t believe that junk, but we do believe that most men are absolute failures when it comes to approaching a girl for the very first time. If you’re at the club, the men smell like booze and come across as way too horny. If you’re at church, the men just seem like they’re fake and trying too hard.
Where is that perfect median? The balance that a man is supposed to bring to a woman, at all times? And why are men finding it so hard to approach women now? We blame society mostly, for the destruction of beauty and love.
But, we can’t blame them forever. At some point, we’ve got to stand up and fight back with our grandfather's morals and pride at stake, for in their time when they courted a lady, they knew what the hell they were doing.
TV and magazines hadn’t corrupted young minds with an overload of sex and the objectification of women - not yet.
Men were taught to treat women with dignity, class, and respect, today they tell you it’s cool in a rap song to call a woman “bitch” but then turn around and have sex that same night.
We have been quite fed up with the hypocrisy and the media, so we’re creating our own self-help (for men) guide on how to talk to and approach women - at any scene.
On the Dating Scene: Ways to Approach Women
At the club
While the club isn’t exactly the place you want to meet your future wife, it could totally happen and we suggest you don’t write it off completely if clubs are your thing.
You never know, you could meet the girl of your dreams and never have to go to the club again. So, how do you talk to girls at the club?
First, check out the contenders and find a girl you like, not just her looks but her moves, her style, her smile, even the people she’s with. If it’s super loud in there, and crowded, dance your way over to her and maybe even dance with her for a song or two before making the move to actually talk.
If it is super loud, move her outside or somewhere where it isn’t so loud so that she can actually hear you. Introduce yourself and ask her what her name is and who she’s with.
Please don’t try to find the love of your life if you’re super plastered or drunk already. Chances are you’re not going to be in your right mind and find the right person in the first place.
Approaching women at the club is kind of easy, everyone knows you’re there to meet someone to dance with or even someone to leave with, and you don’t have to carry on much conversation either.
If the conversation is hard, try dancing with her - a lot. Write down your number or put it on her phone, and there you go, you’ve already gotten past step 1: the phone number.
Now, if you are able to actually talk to her, get to know her on a surface level. Her goals to being there, how long she’s there for, who she’s with, simple open-ended questions like that. Let her know you think she’s cute and you’d like to eventually talk to her outside of the club one day.
At a restaurant pub or a pool hall, it’s much easier to have the time to walk over to a girl and see how she’s doing because for one, it’s not super loud like the club and for two, playing pool or eating takes some time anyways. Just make sure neither of you is super drunk.
If you’re at a bar or pub with food, make sure she’s also done eating before you sit down and try to talk. Maybe even offering to go out and smoke a cigarette with her when she’s done would work better, if that’s your thing (and her’s).
At either location though, the setting could be very intimidating so make sure you’re ready to do this before you put yourself on the spot.
Going up to her during a pool game could be tricky, you don’t want to step in her way or make her lose concentration, so be mindful of the timing no matter where you meet her at.
Approach her with a sexy grin on your face, and maybe break the ice by saying “Wow, you’re good. I’d like to play against you in the next game if you don’t mind.”
If at a bar, ask her if she would like another shot and do one with her. Women love it when men buy them alcohol, that’s one gentlemen gesture that will never get old.
Even if you’re at a restaurant, ask her if she’d like some dessert and you’ll buy. Whatever you can do to keep her there longer, and her eyes fixated on you for the remainder of her time.
Professional events can be tricky depending on the crowd, the size of the event, and how loud it might be, but it still couldn’t be any louder or trickier than the club - do your thing buddy!
Plus, meeting a woman at a professional event like a Nascar race or a basketball game shows you what she’s into, and it’s the same thing you’re into! You’ve already scored compatibility points!
Approaching a woman at a game, race, or another sporting event is probably going to be one of the easiest encounters you’ll come across. You can simply go over to her and start talking about the game or race itself.
Ask her who her favorite team or player is, and have some really light competitive fun with her over her answer.
If you’re at an event that’s quiet or even boring, you can always speak to her with your eyes and lips first, gesture to her that you want to talk to her outside afterward.
Weddings are a great place to meet someone because you both are already there experiencing love at its finest, why couldn’t love be possible for you too?
Ask her how she knows the Bride (or groom), playfully ask her about her own marriage, this will make her laugh and you’ll know right away if she has a man or not.
Everyone swears up and down that the best place to meet someone is at church, so let’s hope that you do get to meet Mrs. Right at Jehovahs Baptist this Sunday morning when you are there bright and early, dressed to impress.
She’ll really dig meeting a guy at church too, so approaching a woman here will get you major brownie points with her immediately.
When the church is over, or even before it even begins, let her know she looks beautiful today in her Sunday best. Or if you’re too shy to say something as bold as that, talk to her about the church and what you love about it, or the weather and how beautiful it is.
The point is to get her to notice you and to get in there and start talking to her.
After church would probably be the best time to talk, but don’t chase her down. If you just so happen to cross paths, you could always say something like “wow that was a really good service, I think I’ll be coming back next week”, this will give her the opportunity to tell you if she’s coming back too.
Somewhere super random like a gas station
Never write off somewhere random and not very interesting to be the place you’d run into your forever love. It can and will totally happen. In the event that it does, don’t be scared to approach her.
The best way to do that? Make her laugh, say something relatable, or simply just say hey to her and smile, she’ll get the point.
You’ll need to be able to speak to her at some point though, so you mine as well start now. Ask her how her day is going, be genuinely interested in her life and what she’s doing that day, make her feel like you truly do care and you’re not just some guy wanting a piece of you know what.
Remember how we said to make her laugh, there’s nothing better than a compliment coupled with a giggle, think of something super clever to say that would relate to her personally.
Maybe you grew up with the girl and she’s got a really crappy dad that treats her like garbage and you see she’s riding with him, and he’s waiting in the car.
You could say something like “You can get a ride with me and we can go somewhere you wanna go instead of you going back to that”, the protective vibes you’ll be giving off to her will be sending her into an electric shock from all the tingles!
Besides literally just going up to her and striking up a conversation, you could offer to pay for what she’s getting after she orders it (but don’t interrupt her).
This will certainly catch her attention and nine times out of ten she’ll thank you for it and smile, possibly wanting to know more about you. Maybe try going out the door before her and hold it for her, saying hello to her when comes out.
Smooth Tips & Suggestions for Approaching Women
- First of all, be yourself.
People think that in order to be loveable they have to be someone else, but why? The person you’re with loves you because you are the only you, and if they don’t love you they can kick rocks and fall on them.
Nope, all you must do is be yourself, with your quirkiness and all! Just be the best version of yourself around others, especially potential dates or lovers.
- Smell good and brush your teeth.
While this should be a no-brainer, it’s actually quite easy to go out into the public and forget to brush your teeth before you do. Some may even forget to put on deodorant. It happens. But if you’re single and you’re ready to approach and talk to women, you might want to start being ready and prepared at all times.
You’re not perfect and nobody wants you to be, but sometimes the stank of dirty clothes or bad breath can really kill a good relationship. It’s too soon to throw out aggregators like that.
- If you’re nervous, don’t pretend you’re not.
If you’re nervous, say you’re nervous and leave it at that. Keep it moving and just take deep breaths. It’ll make you feel one million times better just by telling her and admitting you are nervous, and it actually might help you to become far less nervous to chat with her.
On the flip side, being nervous and trying to pretend you’re not is a recipe for disaster. You could ruin the entire conversation by saying something completely off of the wall because your brain is not keeping up with your mouth, and your thoughts aren’t keeping up with your words when they actually do come out, stop overthinking everything!
- Ask for her Facebook, IG, or phone number so you can talk again.
Probably the most important step here in this process is getting a way to talk to her again, so if you’ve already talked with her about her name, age, where she’s from and all that good stuff, try getting her social pages or even if her phone number before you two leave each other for the day.
Nothing worse than meeting a really awesome girl and then not getting her information to talk to her again, and if you do get her information, make sure you hit her up that very next day. Seriously.
Forget that stupid rule of 9 days or 2 weeks, whatever that stupid rule is. If you wait too long, she’ll find someone else.
Facebook and IG will be super simple places to connect with her as you all have to do is send a message! But you’ll still need to get her attention in a way that nobody else on social media can cause trust me, she’s probably got tons of guys in her DM’s.
Again, you’ll use your charm and sense of humor to connect soulfully with her, then continue moving in for the kill with our other top secrets for snagging and shagging women!