Relationships can sometimes be hard work, especially after being together for so many years, you can sometimes lose that spark that once kept you and your partner feeling alive.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t love each other anymore, it just means that you’ve become complacent in your relationship and the burning fire that rose so high in the beginning is now starting to fade away.
There is still hope, however, if you truly love each other and you are looking to tough this out and fight through it. The first step is acknowledging that things have changed and then coming together to figure out ways to combat this anti-cupid love bug.
We have compiled a list of 13 ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship, and we can almost guarantee that trying any of these or all of these will ignite that fire once again.
Ways to Keep the Spark Alive
1. Sometimes Love Is Just Not Enough.
We would all like to think that if you truly love someone and they truly love you that things will always work out, but unfortunately, that is just not the case. You can love someone with all of your heart and still be ready to break up with them; a serious relationship consists of much more than just love.
A healthy relationship consists of understanding, listening to one another, committing to one another and respecting boundaries, being each other’s backbone or strength during low times and then being someone’s motivation and encouragement during trying times, and so much more.
It’s a combination of many important things, almost like bricks to a home when you’re building it. Each brick has it’s place and it’s reasons for being there, take one out and the house may start to fall apart.
So, how do use love and understanding to better your relationship and bring back what you had in the beginning? Simply go back to the beginning, in your mind. Remind yourself everything about the other person that made you fall in love with them in the first place.
Talk with your partner about the first time you saw each other, the first time you hung out, and the first time you kissed.
Going back into time and not just remembering, but talking about it too, might just ignite that flame again because you’re taking yourself back to the moment it ignited.
The two of you could sit over a candlelit dinner, reminiscing about all of the fun times you had when you two were in the first stages of your relationship, and this will literally put your brain and body back in that frame of mind, feeling those same amazing butterflies you used to feel when you met.
2. Compliment Them Truthfully.
Without going overboard or sounding ‘fake’, there is nothing that boosts a woman’s ego more than a compliment or two from her man or lover. Not just any old compliment either, but something truthful and straight from the heart, maybe something you haven’t shared with her before or in a really long time.
Complimenting someone releases endorphins and dopamine in the brain, which then stimulate other parts of the body and mind. This means that just by merely telling her how beautiful she is and how you’re so lucky to have her, she could quite possibly be ready for a round - if you catch my drift.
Women, as we know, are super emotional and even somewhat needy beings, needing to be held on a pedal stool above the rest. Telling her she’s the most beautiful woman in the world will make her feel just like that whether she believes it or not.
Not to mention, she’ll fall in love with you all over again because of the way you are making her feel.
3. Do Things Together That Are Fun, Romantic, and Productive.
Just spending time together is not going to rekindle the relationship either, you can spend every waking moment with your partner and that alone can actually hurt the relationship because you’re not getting any time apart.
However, when you do spend your time together it’s important to note what you are focusing on while spending that time together.
If you are always sitting around on the couch, never communicating, never going out, just always sitting around and watching TV, that could actually cause demise or a strain in your relationship.
On the contrary, having a date night every now and then, doing something spontaneous from time to time, planning out some extravagant trip perfect for just you two, will be the key to her heart.
Spending romantic, fun, and even productive nights together, naturally brings couples closer together which results in a much happier, more loving relationship.
4. Do Something Out of the Ordinary Together.
One of the best ways to keep your relationship fresh and alive is to do spontaneous, out of the ordinary things you wouldn’t typically do. Spending time together in a brand new environment, at the spur of the moment releases endorphins again, making your mind and body feel that extra dose of love.
Spontaneous moments with loved ones create memories that you’ll never be able to recreate or come close to ever again, making these spark igniters some of the most important on the list.
5. Laugh as Much as You Can.
Laughter is known as the best medicine, so it’s no secret that couples that laugh together, last together. Tell each other silly jokes, or make silly jokes on each other that are harmless and playful.
Women are suckers for men who can make them laugh, and the fact you can still make her laugh after all of this time together is even better.
Laughing relieves tension and stress which relaxes your muscles, meaning that having sex after a good laugh is a great idea!
6. Do Something for Her She Wouldn’t Expect.
There’s a reason why women fall in love all over again with their partner when a boyfriend becomes a Fiance, it’s that feeling of “wow, I can not believe he did that and thought of that all on his own” coupled with just how much of a life-changing decision it is.
We’re not saying to propose (unless it’s just that time), we’re just saying that doing something for her she never expected could spark that same flame you sparked when you first took her hand or first said I love you.
New beginnings and the shock of amazement is going to ignite the flame all over again, possibly even stronger this time.
7. Put Down the Phones and Social Media for a Day or Week.
Depending on how you both feel about the decision, you can designate a day out of every week or a week out of every month where you go without social media, texting, and chatting on the phone with your buddies and acquaintances. Of course, you are allowed to use your phone for kids or family or emergencies.
Putting down your phones and checking out of Facebook and Instagram every once in awhile allows the two of you to focus all of your attention on each other.
This would be a good time to talk about things you didn’t know about each other, stories you haven’t previously told about each other and more.
8. Spend Some Time Apart.
It might seem redundant to spend time apart during a time when your spark seems to be low, or non-existent, but the saying that absence makes your heart grow fonder is true.
Even if it’s just to spend a few hours apart per day while you all go to work, spending some time apart is almost essential for a long-term relationship.
In fact, being together all of the time can actually do more damage than good, as it is not good for two people to be together 24/7 - no matter how much you love them.
Too much of anything is almost always not a good thing but more of a detrimental thing - just spend a couple of hours apart per week if you can.
9. Do Something You Did Together When You First Met.
Remember when you first met how childlike it felt and how even a trip to the gas station together made you feel on top of the world? Take yourselves back to that timeframe, go somewhere the two of you went together a lot when you were just dating.
Going back to the park where you held your first kiss, or playing pool at that local bar where you used to pretend to let her beat you, will rekindle that spark you felt the first time.
Just being in that atmosphere and reminiscing together will put your mind and heart back at that moment, reminding you of every little thing that attracted you to them in the first place.
10. Dress to Impress Like You Used To.
In the beginning, when you two were dating, you used to go all out with your style - nice outfit, hair well done, nails clean and trimmed, shoes shined, and all - but now, she’s lucky to see you outside of your dad pants. It’s time to spend a day impressing her all over again.
Encourage her to play along, and the two of you should dress up into an outfit that maybe you wore on your first date or the day you met, the look that attracted them in the first place.
Seeing you dressed up again will remind them of that very day they looked at you and melted just by first glance.
11. Do Something Silly and Child-like as Often as You Can.
Studies show that if human beings do something considered “silly” and “childish” once or several times per week, it can increase your mood, decrease your stress, help your health issues, and possibly even prolong your life.
So, what can you do together that’s considered silly and childish but without getting arrested?
Very simple. Go play mini-golf together, ride bumper cars at the fair and lightly chase her around, ride a bicycle up and down the aisles of Wal-Mart, go on an ice cream date, and there’s so much more.
Doing something fun that young couples in puppy love would do, will release chemicals in your brain that make you happier, healthier, and more in love.
12. Touch Each Other Again.
Chances are, now that you’ve been together for ten years you might not be holding hands or hugging as much as you used to. Please don’t be disrespectful with your PDA, but a light kiss, hand holding, hugging as you wait in line, all of those are super cute - even to the jealous bystanders.
Also, try more touching and less sex, meaning that just because you touch in bed it doesn’t have to lead to sex.
Sometimes it’s nice to just cuddle, and it signifies to your partner that you love them without having to do anything with them.
13. Have Heart-to-Heart Conversations.
Sitting down with your partner and having heart-to-heart conversations are some of the most important things you’ll ever say to them. Think about it, I bet you can look back on your life and remember just about every single heartful, conversations with some substance you’ve had with friends and loved ones over the years.
The conversations you choose to have here will stay in the hearts of you both for many years to come. Talk about something they can relate to, so the conversation is not one-sided.
It doesn’t have to be about love or relationships all of the time either, you can literally have a serious talk about anything.
Of course, it’s important to note that sometimes, every now and then, the heart-to-heart should be about love and something that makes her feel like your saving grace or an angel. Someone that maybe showed you things no other relationship ever showed you.
Making her feel like the most important lady in your life, especially the only lady in your life, will warm her heart and make her feel like a goddess.
We all know what happens sometimes when women feel secure, loved, and sexy all at the same time!
After the Spark Is Re-ignited
Once you’ve got the love of your baby back, now you’ll want to keep it, right?
Well, as long as you continue to incorporate these ideas (as well as any new ones you may have) into your relationship, and have her reciprocate the same actions, the two of you will be just fine.
Here’s to peace and love!